Trouble Came Today…. 😂

 No time for blogging…  it is that time of year!  😂

The crazy thing I have found since moving to Oklahoma from Louisiana is that I can buy bulbs (little care and they multiply), plant them and… here is the kicker..  they don’t rot in the soggy ground!!  They actually BLOOM!!  I love flowers!  Especially flowers with scent.  Plants are ok, but flowers are my heart.

I even look at the backs:

And deep in the centers:   

                

Steph’s lilacs are blooming.  Mine are not yet, but budding, so very soon… for now, here are her pretties:

This below is a weeping dogwood, also at Steph’s.  Isn’t it breathtaking?  The 🐝 bees in this thing… thousands!  It literally hums when you are near it.

Thought I would share a closer look at the flowers:

**********************

Today was my ‘top up’ day, my infusion day.  My nurse came in late, so we started late - which means we finished late. They have been running my infusion at 43, but I have had infusion migraines for a week after.  Today, my Dr came in early and told them to start me at 30 and top up at only 35.  So far, much better.  Sure made for an extremely long day though.  If I don’t get the migraine, it’ll be worth it.  

So I did blog a little bit, but now I need to rest.  Ta-ta for now.  Dreaming of bulbs here.  Those are the best gifts ever!

Plugged in and Fueling Up!

 I am all hooked up and getting my IgIV infusion.  So I look up about an hour into it and think it is going slow, but I am nearly comatose from 4 antihistamines, so I let it go.  A while later I see it is still moving slow and go to tell my nurse who is too busy with another infusion.  I sit back down, hear quiet and then talking again - she is with another patient.  Can’t bother her yet.

My friend and nurse Cathy (works here) comes in to visit.  We chat a while and she comments on how slow it appears to be going, but checks the setting and all appears to be ok.  The infusion machine is not beeping, so she sits, we chat… and she checks again… to find the valve is barely on!!  I have been here two hours and barely infused - and the stupid machine never once beeped!   Grrrr!! I will be 2 hours later than I always am - even though we sped it up and went much too fast!  I feel an infusion migraine coming on…

Life in the slow lane today.  It was supposed to be a great day - but you know?  God probably saved me from something else, so I think it’ll be ok.

This is part of my sewing buddy group at the Methodist Church.  Right now we are making 80 book bags for our summer reading program at our little town’s library.  Lotsa kiddos will get them. We have a great time designing, sewing, visiting and gifting.

   

This is the last one we Veteran’s Quilt awarded.  He was so surprised by our gift!  Watching his face when he realized what it was… it was absolutely priceless!  It feels so good to make/give to others.  

   

We got a beautiful thank you note the week after we awarded it.  These things are what make my world twirl.  I love making people smile.  

       

Off to finish infusing.  It’ll be a late night.  *sigh*

But, as always, thanks to the plasma donors!  🥰

My Head

My head hurts.  My body hurts.  I see why my moma just wanted to give up.  You fight every day through something.  Every day. There is no day just waking to enjoy life and carry on.  

I had a decent night’s rest - the headache only woke me a couple times.  About 6 am I woke to my right hand completely numb and my eyes blurry - and the headache.  Ya’ll, I hate it every day when my sweet husband asks how I am and I can’t say, “Awesome!”  This health life is a struggle.  Daily.  Hourly.  And I am tired through and through. I am still excited to wake up every day and see what God has to offer me.  Once I am awake, it is like, “Well, crap.”

On a good note, each of my kids asked to take pics with me.  We seldom see them and for some reason I am reserved when we do, because, inevitably I will try to say something, the brain scrambles, itcomes out wrong and I get snapped at and get hurt.  I love them so much.  I try hard but fail miserably.  But I miss seeing them.  When I do, I just feel like I have nothing at all to say or that is worth talking about.  I don’t do anything except try to stay afloat and sew.

Anyway, this is us ❤️

So Much..

It has been a rough 2 months.  My head hurts.  I have no idea why.  Some days it is a low grade, some days it is throbbing.  I need a zero day.  I am just sick all over and have no idea why.  

I am still recovering from our mad dash down to visit Uncle Danny.  That was 12+ hours one way.  The good news is he is doing much better, but still in hospice - going home tomorrow.  Please pray for my Uncle Danny and Aunt Carol.  

While I was there, I got to see my cousin Pamela, Uncle Danny’s daughter, and her (grown) children.  We had a great visit and I sure enjoyed really chatting with her kids.  She has 2 wonderful girls, Laura and Audrey, and one son Karl.  All are very pleasant and talented; the girls are in college and Karl managing a fast food restaurant..

This is Audrey, Pam, Liz, Danny and I: 

And this is Audrey, Red, Pam and Laura:

I have so much more to say, but I am honestly struggling.  I go to the hematologist Wednesday and next Monday is my top up.  One Dr or the other will try to figure out what my problem is - or I will die trying to get them to.  I have zero energy, my head aches, my entire body is inflamed, my brain fog is ridiculous, my hair has turned to dry straw and I just want to stay in bed.  I sleep until 8:30!  I am an eyes pop open at 6 kinda gal.

BUT, I don’t stay in bed.  I keep putting one foot in front of the other, I occasionally cook and I sew (sit) a lot.  I try to clean, but I don’t do a great job.  I have 2 real puppies running around and a whole lot of little furball puppies everywhere - meaning I need to vacuum! 

😂

Not sure if I am going to like this quilt, 

but we will soon see:

This is what I have finished:

This is the pattern in the magazine - with mistakes that I changed in mine:

And this picture is why I chose it. It was like an old fashioned quilt.

Taking my brother home tomorrow.  It is a 6 hour round trip.  *sigh*  Oh, well, we do what we gotta do.

Night all.

Ancestry for the Decline

I have had a rough week.  Haven’t forgot about blogging, just not well enough to think.  I have spent the down time organizing all the different genealogy documents from many families that I have gotten over the years.  I have totes and totes of them, but every one was mixed - all families in all tubs.

Finally I have them divided by families and even individuals.  His family, my family, generations of our families, other families and friends mixed in there.  Goodness.  Now I am working/entering in ancestry.com

Steve tries to get me out of the house when I get worse health wise.  Most likely because it dumps me into a deeper depression.  So earlier this week he made a ‘date’ with me today to go to estate sales.  We didn’t get much, but I found 20 preprinted Oklahoma quilt blocks for $15!  I am only sharing 3, but I love them!  Hopefully, I will make the quilt soon.  

************

I get my IGIV Monday, so hopefully I will make a turnaround next week.  I have a bad sinus infection, I have been on antibiotics for 6 weeks for it.  This week, Dr changed my prescription to two antibiotics at a time.  The headache is terrible.  Then the full body itching again.  No rash, just itching from head to toe.  And the shaking.  Let’s just say this past week sucks.

Wednesday I went and got my second Covid vaccine.  It gave me an awful headache to add to the one I have had for over a month.  I have been miserable-er.  If that is possible.

Anyhoo, that is where I am this week.  Hopefully, things will turn around soon.  Later gator.

Dr Idiots and the Weather

Dr tales, just in the last 7 years, but I quit after 5 year of going to idiots.

Went to a neurologist for my uncontrollable shaking with a list.  He valiantly tossed it over his shoulder and said “anyone that brings me a list like this I handle by doing THIS.”  Never have been back.

I went to a podiatrist to get fungus on my toes checked as it seems to have “spilled” onto the toes it is on.  He said not to worry about it.  I told him I was susceptible to systemic fungal infections and I wanted to be sure it was cared for.  He asked why I am susceptible to them I told him my CD4 numbers and he rolled his eyes and said, “if you had those numbers you’d be dead.  Don’t worry about it” as he walked out the door.  🙄

I went to a hematologist and he looked at my numbers and said, “I don’t believe those numbers.  I don’t even know if they are yours!”  He did give me iron twice, but assured me I would be dead IF those were my numbers.

I went to an Infectious Disease Dr who saw my numbers and walked me out the door because I was “too susceptible to be exposed to the germs that could be in his office.”

🤦🏻‍♀️ 

I could go on and on, but I won’t.  I haven’t had good luck with specialists - even with documentation, and apparently I didn’t have luck with my Louisiana Drs who left me undiagnosed for 32 years.

I was 54 when I was finally diagnosed with Idiopathic CD4+ Lymphocytopenia and 56!when my igg antibodies plummeted and started IgIV, which are human antibodies to replace antibodies that my body cannot make.  Evert4 weeks, I get 21 days supply, but the expense of ($7,000+) Dr tries to stretch it to 28 days.  

Enough.  So many PI patients go through similar scenarios.  Very few Drs know what a primary immunodeficiency is.  Can you believe that?  We have 2,270 members in my Facebook group with one kind of PI or another.  Drs need to know about them.  Nearly all of us have to teach ER staff, specialty Drs and GP’s.

That’s all I will write about Drs.

**********************

Nothing medical except I am sick of sinus infections and today I shook so bad I couldn’t work a puzzle.  

The weather... 

This last 10 days have been miserable weather wise.  Just thought I would post the stats for the future.  We are on the up end of it for now.  Gotta love La Niña years.

My Problem With Drs; Part 1

              

                           Photo just because... 

I have been sick for years.  Many, many years I caught everything and had a chronic sinus infection.

I was with a team of Drs who oversaw my care for 32 years.  I trusted them both, but mostly saw one.  I kept asking why I always seemed to have a sinus infection.  His answer was “because you live in south Louisiana and are allergic to it.”

I got a yearly physical with my husband’s company and it said my lymphocytes were low.  I would alway ask my Drs why my lymphocytes were low.  Every year for 16 freaking years, I asked why they were low.  He said “Because you have a sinus infection!”  For 16 YEARS!  If he had bothered to do a subset test of my lymphocytes, he would have found out I was in dire straits medically.

We moved to and from from Singapore and eventually sold our home in south Louisiana and moved to Oklahoma.  I went to an immunologist for my sinus infection.  She listened to my frustrations and in 15 minutes told me that she suspected I had an immune deficiency.  

She also asked if I was sick all the time.  My answer was, “no more than anyone else.”  She said, “Strange.”

She tested my allergies with the shots in your arms and back; 300+ actually.  I did not test positive for even one - not even the false positive.  That was the second time as I had the same results with my immunologist in Baton Rouge whose statement was, “very strange”.  Nothing else was done.

She kept testing.  It took 8 months for her to diagnose me with a very rare and serious immunodeficiency: Idiopathic CD4+ Lymphocytopenia.  Nothing can help and she assured me I would soon die.  Then, since she couldn’t help me, she dismissed me from her care “as I can’t do anything for you to help.  Good luck.”

It took another year of going to a Drs and them walking me to the door as I “was in danger being in their office”.  Frustration was high so I went for a long time without a Dr.  Finally on an immune deficiency Facebook board, a nurse had me come in to her Dr.  I told her she had to SHOW him my blood results and be sure he would see me.  She did and he blocked off 2 hours for me.  He is still my Dr.  

One time I told him about my immunologist question about being sick all the time and me telling her no more than usual. He stopped what he was doing, and said “she should have asked if I had ever been well.”  It was like a reverse movie in my mind thinking of all the times I was well and I’ll be darned if I could think of even one!  I remember going to an ENT from the time I was 4!!

I said to Dr, “Good point.”  His response was “you have never been well to know how it feels because your entire life you have fought this.”

So that is my ICL story.  Drs do not know how I am still alive but I guess the Lord isn’t ready for me and my body has worked around the t-cell deficiencies.

I would love to find any Dr who would care for me doing physicals and not so much my immune system.  I have finally got an amazing Immune Dr who focuses on immune problems, but physical stuff?  Not so much.  

But I don’t like being walked to the door when I go to a Dr.

I am writing this because I know someone needs to see it.  Someone else has an immune deficiency that they don’t know about and realize Drs don’t know it all.  If you are sick a lot, get to a CLINICAL Immunologist, please.

Negative 2!!

That is our temp right now!!  

It is freaking cold, the wind chill is in the negative teens - and we have cattle to tend to!

They need extra food, water that isn’t frozen (we have heaters) but these young cattle are cold, tired of fighting it, and the other (in another pasture) cattle are pregnant and due now.  Praying they will wait a week.

This is what I look like heading out to help feed and water them.  Actually, I water (the preggy ones drink about 200 gallons in 12 hours) so it takes me about as long to do water as it does for him to feed.

I need this many layers.  My glasses do come off because they fog.  

Remember, I said that I water?  The hose got away from me and got my jeans wet.  They froze on contact!

Jake?  He is fine.  We have to force him to come in - even with icy paws!  This dog just wants to play in this miserable weather!

I do worry about him and I am ver concerned for our cattle.  I just pray everyone can get through the next 5 days.  As of right now we have been under freezing 165 hours!!  We have been in single digest for 2 days and teens for 4 days.  Ya’ll this is as serious as it has ever been for us.  Pray please for these storms to get on out of here.

****************

My depression is rock bottom, anxiety at an all time high and I have a very bad sinus infection - and every part of my body just hurts.  Lupus probably doesn’t like cold either.  It’ll all work out, but I am trying to keep track for my counselor.  
 

Top Up Day

Today was ‘top up’ day.  This is the first of 3 bottles of IgIV that I receive every 4 weeks.

Not feeling up to posting much.  I take a lot of pre-meds (antihistamines) and I just want to sleep.  

My infusion only took 7 hours today - and I don’t have an infusion migraine!  Praying it stays that way.  

We came home for Jake’s evening truck ride, then Steve went to feed cattle.  Every feed he counts cattle heads.  He was short one and found her on the dam - nursing her newborn!!  He always takes new momma’s food, so he fed her, but it was too dark to see if we have a boy or girl.  We will check that out tomorrow.

Night all.  :-)

 

THE Vaccine

I feel like I won the lottery!  I got a date and time to get the Covid vaccine!

Secret?  They open the bookings Wednesday night through Thursday morning.

You register on the site and answer all the questions.  You will get an e-mail stating what phase you are in and that you will be notified when you are eligible.

I was immediately eligible due to my PI, BUT, my first e-mail was the only one I got.  For nearly a month I waited.  Then I found out I should have gotten a second e-mail.  I shamelessly refilled it out again, and lo and behold, 30 minutes later, e-mail #2 came in with the magical link.

I had also heard that appointments are opened Wednesday night through Thursday morning.  

So tonight I have clicked on that e-mail link a hundred + times if I did it once.  I refilled out my date of birth a hundred times and rechecked for an appointment 100+ times.  

Finally I hit within 50 miles and one opened.  If you don’t get that kapcha code EXACTLY right it boots you out.  Upper and lower case COUNTS.  Do it as fast as possible.  

It took 2 more times telling me that appointment was taken, but doing it all over again (click link, enter birth date, enter Kaptcha) it finally gave me an appointment.

Stay determined and focused!!

And pray a lot.  A lot.

Now I hope I develop antibodies.  

3 Weeks

Sis and I

This is my sister, Liz, and I.  I can't even tell you why we took the picture, but I sure am glad. We do not look alike do we?  😂  I love ya, sis!
 

This picture was just added as interest.  This post will not be interesting to anyone but me.  I am noting it for a referral to my brain fog and struggles  Below is medical. 

**********************

My sinus infection was getting worse again.  It is never, ever gone, but it quells and ebbs.  It was worse.  I had been on one antibiotic for a month, but it obviously was no longer working. Dr had told me when I finished that antibiotic, to go onto another one, once a day, for prophylactic reasons.  Always have to be on an antibiotic.  So every time I have to change antibiotics, I rotate through the only 3 I can take.  The next one was the one he wanted me on prophylactic, so instead of calling him, I just went on it and instead of one a day, I took it like I do when I have an infection - 3 times a day.  And I didn't confer with him.  I just did it.  As a PI patient, you kind of know what to do next.  I was going in to him in 3 days, so I would let him know.  I did, in fact I told him and said to go ahead and fuss me, but that is what I did.  He said, no, I did exactly right, and after one month of it, go down to one a day.

That was on infusion day.  He does a check up each infusion day.  During the infusion he asked how I was doing other than the infection and I told him I had something weird going on.  I am itching in my throat, my ears, my sinuses, and kinda even going into my chest. Did I cough?  Well, yes, but this is the weirdest thing - I cough a few times then sneeze repeatedly from my toes.  Deep deep sneezes - it is crazy.  There was some discussion that it indicated an allergy of some kind, but the only thing here is cedars blowing from Texas.  In my mind, I am thinking, dogs - I need to vacuum.  That was the end of the conversation, I finished my infusion and continued on.

A couple days later, the itching is going through and through my body.  I am going nuts trying to figure it out - continuously running it through my mind... what is making me itch?!?  Dr had told me to take Benadryl and if it got really bad just to take Atarax - the super Benadryl.  I did.  It hadn't helped.  I dusted, I vacuumed, I cleaned.  I itched. From head to toe, I itched.  No new meds, no new foods, no new laundry products.... nothing that I could pinpoint, except I am going insane from the clawing at my entire body. Scratch marks everywhere.  At night, you don't even know what you are doing!

Yesterday I take my morning meds, and was struggling with the itching.  At this point, even my eyes are itching terribly.  Thinking it through again... I remembered having told someone about it... oh, it was Dr.  That was 3 weeks ago today.  And it just had the itching in my head/throat/sinuses and chest.  Now it was through and through.  I am miserable.  Wait.... I started that antibiotic 3 days prior to going to him!  Yes, it is the antibiotic - and damned it - I just took my morning one!

Good grief.  Why can't  I figure this crap out?  Why did it take 3 freaking weeks?  *sigh*

And is it a side effect or an allergy?  Am I down to 2 antibiotics?  Dr again next Monday.  No antibiotics until I see him again.

Brain fog sucks.

The Covid Vaccine

I was told the other day that I must be not as afraid as everyone else of because I am used to avoiding everything already.  Like this is a breeze to me.

The truth is, heck no I am not used to how it feels to expose us every time we have to get groceries!

I have been watching the health department trying to get a shot.  I am obviously not good at it, because I still don’t have an appointment - much less the shot.  Someone told me to try Wednesday nights.  Others Thursday mornings.  Some are skilled and got right in there.  I have yet to even figure it out!  And I am not an elderly person trying to do this.  Can you imagine how they feel?

So here is the real kicker - I am trying to get a shot that will likely not help me one iota because, “Hello!  I have a PI!”  Most of us PI patients are lucky IF we hold a titer to ANY vaccines.  It is actually a challenge we have to take all the shots, then go back for blood work to see if it looks like we had them.

It is a kinda “well, we can hope” type of thing.  We may or may not hold “a titer”... if we don’t it is like we never got a tetanus vaccine... or pneumonia vaccine... or Covid vaccine.

No, I am not more comfortable with it.  I am down right afraid, because half the world has straight up said no they are not getting the Covid vaccine.  That means that crowd immunity will not happen for me and others like me - therefore meaning this is my life; the way it will be for me, forever - esp if my  titer doesn’t hold.

Am I going to sit home and be terrified to walk out my door?  No.  I will “social distance”, “wash my hands often”, “wear a mask”, PRAY and use my God given common sense.

And I will do as I always do - the best I can in any situation.  And I will be brave enough to continue to go beyond our doors because I have adjusted to what the world has required.  I won’t live in fear.

Round Robin Letters

Years ago, our family was spread out all over the United States.  It was before Facebook and texting, so it was difficult to keep  up with everyone.  I decided to start a round robin letter.  I picked a route for it to go on, and started the first letter.  

From south Louisiana to Oklahoma, from Oklahoma to Seattle, from Seattle to where ever Danny was (I don't remember), then from Danny to Florida, From Florida to Alabama and then back to me.  

We would add a letter about what was going on in our lives, notes to each of the others, add pics if we desired and shipped it to the next person in line.  It got to be quite full, so I ended up asking for them to remove their previous letter.  Gosh, what a mistake!  I wish I had the others now.  

Anyway, it actually worked pretty well!  

We kept up with each other and loved reading what was going on in each other's lives.  

A few days ago, I started going through genealogy and lo and behold I found the round robin.  Oh my goodness, the memories!  It was a great "back then" blast.  I read through all the letters and enjoyed reminiscing.  Facebook and texting are ok, but there is something about letters... ya know?

I have mounds of genealogy to sort through.  I want to save it all, but I want to share it and I have no idea how to do that.  Any suggestions would be awesome.   

How do I share the round robin?  

***********************

Today is a damnit day.  My body and I are in a war - it seems to be winning.  

Brain fog from you-know-where, hip and back screaming and fatigue is beyond fatigue.

Fibro, Sjogren's, Lupus and PI seem to be raging a war in my body, but I am absolutely determined not one day will go by without me accomplishing something significant.  

Today it was genealogy.

 

We Survived.

This blog post was started in April of 2020 after making literally hundreds and hundreds of masks.  I have no recollection of this, but here it is, me bearing my soul - and here we are 9 months later and not much has changed.  

I just didn't deal with making hundreds of masks well.  

It is rather interesting seeing other people reacting with what I have been dealing with day to day since my ICL diagnosis in 2013... they are flipping out.  I guess my one day is ok... I am still dog paddling... 

My crash last week was wicked; two days of hell, bawling, fussing, crying... it was awful.  If you were a part of it, I am sorry.  If you were not, thank God.

We survived.  I don’t know how he didn’t walk, but he is still here, still reassuring me and still my rock.  I love this man.

I put the masks away.  They scare me.  They remind me that we may be here forever, that we will not ever again be as carefree as we were 3 months ago.  It reminds me that there may never be an end to this or that the end will not be good.  I didn’t need to think about that 24/7 - the masks had to go despite people begging me to make them.

So I gave away my mask making supplies and took a walk around the yard.  The spring flowers reminded me that God is still on control and that I don’t get to choose the path, HE does.

I walked back into my sewing nook and started sewing.  I have pieced 2 baby quilts, sandwiched them and today I will be quilting them!

I scheduled this post to post on Saturday.  I am taking a down day today.  Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend.  I plan to sew bowl buddies and one quilt block.  Steve will be working on my truck hopefully.  It is sick.  Not sure what it has but it is sick.  Lol... 

Day Bazillion Covid-tine

Quite frankly, I am sick of this!  I don’t see an end to it for me.  I see an end for most people, but for me, I just don’t.

Steve and I have sewn 370+ masks.  Doing so is a constant reminder of Covid-19.  It has not been good for me mentally.  The more we sew, the more people beg for more.

I am taking a few mental health days off.  I have 2 baby quilt I want to sew, and I will make one for sure before returning to ‘duty’.

Here is the beginning:

As you can tell, I am not in a good frame of mind.  Depression is a terrible thing to fight.  Add that with a severe immune deficiency and a world pandemic... I am in the hole.  

Deep depression.

Gotta keep on swimmin’.  

Easter 2020

Easter is a time of celebration.  Jesus reminds us He IS alive.  Every year Easter is a new beginning - just like spring is; all the dead is gone and new life surrounds us.  

When I was a kid, my mom would take us to El Reno to celebrate with my grandma Davis and my cousins; and we had LOTS of cousins!  We had the best food (grandma was a wonderful cook and moms learned well), grandpa Leon would fuss as all of us cousins would race between him and his sports games on tv, but we were never scared - just took him in stride - we loved being together and playing.

When I had a family of my own, I made sure we went to church regularly.  My kids didn’t have cousins to entertain them, but they had lots of church friends who would goof around and play with.  They grew up together, hung out and were truly friends.

Our kids have since grown up, live nearby (thank you, Jesus!) and are good through and through despite what others have done to them.  I am proud of each of them and the families they have created.

However, Easter is so different from when I was young; the older cousins hid eggs for the younger cousins - and we were constantly playing, laughing, big gatherings and lots of laughter.

Time and life has strewn us apart; cousins and families live across the country and seldom see each other.  Families don’t gather like they used to - kids would rather ‘game’ or be ‘friends’ with people they have never met.  Family... is distance now... busy filling their lives... with... no sense of being an entire unit.  No time for extended family; close or distant - just a mandatory dinner date and gone.  I miss the ‘olden’ days; I miss when grandparents were cherished, and kids were entertaining and we laughed and cooked together for hours and then played.

And I miss church.  I have been half a dozen times in years; but I always get sick for weeks.  I don’t know how to overcome that.  TV doesn’t replace church family.  

I have a deep faith in a God of love and forgiveness.  I know there is a God.  Look at the flowers; how does a daisy know it is a daisy and a tulip know it is a tulip?  How does a maple tree know it is maple and a magnolia know it is a magnolia?

Who else could have come up with God’s art and nature’s perfection?  Look at our bodies; noses to breathe, eyes to see, hands to help and feet to explore His world!

Today is even tough.  Thirty some days quarantined with no end in sight.  Before Covid-tine I could fill my empty holes with OHCE and a friend.  Today, I spend hours and hours making masks and sinking deeper into depression and reality. 

I miss my family, our little get-togethers and our waves as we pass each other on the road.  Even that brightened my days.  I miss the old life and I miss the pre-Covid life, and I fear the future.

This is me, somewhere in Colorado with my parents - and the pink Cadillac.  Dads.  😂

Happy Easter.

Day 26 Covid-tine

437 masks!  That is all we have been doing!  Yes, Steve has been helping.  We get 50 made, but have 80 ordered!  We get the 80 out and 25 more orders come in!  

We are at a standstill because I have no interfacing and none can be found!  Even Amazon is out.  I do have elastic coming in this weekend - supposedly.  We will see.  

Steve has been working in front of the barn putting water spickets on either side of it and one by the driveway so I can water plants - 3 total.  It has been a lot of work for him.  When he is finished he will have lots of gravel brought in so we can park the camper in the barn easily.  

I can’t seem to upload pictures right now, apparently our internet isn’t fast enough.

Anyhoo, all is well here.  Staying home and staying safe!  Hope you are, too!!

Day 9: A Last Time for Everything...

Today’s (well yesterday’s) Update:

Steve had to spend half a day wangling a neighbor’s wild cow back to their property and looking for another that disappeared - not ours, theirs.

I'm  sure he was thrilled to come in and help me make face masks that had been ordered; 

45 to be exact.  Another 14 hour day.  

But he did help - I can’t tell you how much I appreciate him.

 Sewing the masks does not put me in a good place mentally.  I ponder on the crisis way too much.  I can’t get out and pretend everything is normal; I can’t go see my kids and grand kids, I can’t go to the store and I can’t eat out.  Instead I sew the desperately needed masks and worry.

There is a last time for everything.  

What if I have already seen my family for the last time?

😭

Now you know where my depression is.

My Drs office called at 8:40pm tonight to specifically ask how my lungs are.

And if I am ok or needed any meds.

Scary.