Monday, September 16, 2019

Hematologist My Last!

...  I will just do the job myself!

Remember that hematologist appointment 2.5 weeks out for that 4 week bleed?

I went.  He assured me that my blood work was fine; no bleeding disorder.  So can ya help me quit bleeding?  Nope, your bloodwork is fine.  Ummm ok... ?  Since it is fine, Goodbye.  😳

I was so mad I went to the drug store and bought 3 things; super glue, spray to close cuts and bandaids to stop bleeding.  I applied all after shower and dabbing it dry.  I did so well it stopped!!

My Dr’s PA laughed at me today.  She checked it and told me to add antibiotic to two places slow healing, and the bleeding was caused by....

You ready....?

She reminded me they gave me shots to keep me from clotting after surgery and it took longer for my body to use it up.  PI people don’t react like normal people.

Goodness!  Why did I go to a freaking hematologist?!?  🤦🏻‍♀️

I am fine, healing, no longer bleeding thanks to super glue, super glue spray and the magic bandaid.  

She did say I have to slow dow and allow my body to heal.  Apparently, 2 major abdominal surgeries in 7 months is a big deal... who knew?  🤷🏻‍♀️




Today was a long infusion day, I feel like I have the flu - which is sometimes normal with IgIV infusions... so going to rest!  Thanks everyone for the thoughts and prayers.  ❤️



Wednesday, September 11, 2019

This Is My Brother, Danny

                              

Meet Daniel Nimrod Harder.  He suffers from severe PTSD.  He is an Army soldier who has been ON the wall in Germany when it came tumbling down.  He was standing UNDER the Challenger when it fell from the sky.  He was NEXT to his friend’s side when war ‘games’ went bad.  He used every medical skill he knew trying to save him, but stayed with him until his dying breath.  

He was IN the Pentagon on 9-11.  He was one of a handful of first responders (a medic) immediately on the scene.  He repeatedly went back into the wreckage to pull multiple injured and burning people out, permanently injuring his own back and legs doing so.

Danny suffers from severe PTSD.  He struggles daily, but September 9 and the days leading up to it are particularly difficult.  

He was traumatized by the plane that flew into the Pentagon and now terrified of the sound of jetliners, so much so that he had a heart attack when the engines roared to action during take-off.  

PTSD is real.  It sucks the life from the bravest, but it is ‘earned’ by BEING the bravest; by going where few dare to go and doing what few dare to do.

                                       

This is my brother, Danny.  Please pray for him today.  Please pray for acceptance of what he could not change, pray for thankfulness that he was present to save all he could, pray for peace for what he has done and seen - and pray for the grace to move on in honor or those who didn’t.

This is my brother, Danny.  I am proud of the survivor in him, the will to move on and the determination to put one foot in front of the other on days he just doesn’t want to.  The strength it takes to do so is a Nimrod trait.  We are not quitters, but peace is evasive, something we never seem to find.  

Pray for my brother to finally be free from the PTSD.  Forever.

Pray for my brother, and pray for others with PTSD.  May they find the peace to continue to live and to honor the ones left behind.



I love you Danny.  You are amazing.  I am proud of you.  ❤️


                                           

Tuesday, September 10, 2019

Fair Entry Day Has Arrived!

All of the entries are in.  The first picture is our area; 9 tables of elementary through 11 years old.  

They are organized by categories (we have 37) and ready for judging first thing tomorrow morning.  

Once the judges finish, our job is to attach ribbons with the exhibitor’s names and display so everyone can see them.

We are up 40 exhibits this year!  Last year we had 178, this year, 218!!  Wow!

We are tired. Judging starts early tomorrow morning.  We must be there at 8am.





Tomorrow I will have pictures of these same tables after our work is done.

Goodnight world.   🌎 
.

Christmas is coming!


Here is another of my projects for the Rogers County Fair.  It is a sweatshirt with jewels for berries.  I am really enjoying my Baby Lock Unity sewing/embroidery machine!  Cheyenne, our daughter-in-love, is helping me figure it all out.  

It is so nice having them near!  I asked her yesterday if she could pick me up at the nail shop after I got a pedicure today on her way to the fair.  Steve dropped me off and just a few minutes later she came in, sat next to me and we got pedis - totally a pleasant surprise.  
 
Fair entries tomorrow.  Gonna be a busy day.  Hope I can do it, I crashed hard today after helping Steve finish his BBQ sauce canning.  Have I said how much I love this man?  He is getting the raw end of the deal though.  I hope I can pull out of this, it has been a rough year.  He is a trooper helping me.  I feel like an anchor pulling us in though.

Sunday, September 8, 2019

Oklahoma!

Here is a wall hanging that I just finished making:


The instant I saw this, I knew I had to make it.  I still absolutely love it. :-)  It makes me smile.


This is the back - and isn't it perfect?



I am entering this in the Rogers County Fair Tuesday under and OHCE Wall Hanging.  I think it might be a winner...  (It took first place!)

No new medical update other than this has been a down, exhausting, achy day - for no reason.  4 days until the hematologist.  

Saturday, September 7, 2019

Kate’s Place: 230 Broadway Boutique

"Not Your Typical Boutique"

My friend, Sharon, and I sew our hearts out.  We had to find an outlet to make more money and use all of our piles of loot.  I signed us up for a great craft show in December 2019, but we really need a year round outlet.  

I had been asked to put a booth in by, Kate, a boutique owner when she first opened over a year (?) ago, but I didn’t think I could commit to keeping it stocked.  I just have not been well and I had no stock built up at all.  So while I have been healing, I have stayed home and sewed - a lot.  Sharon has kept me company because I have not been physically capable of going out much.  So we have loads of loot ready to GO now!

Well, Kate has been full since filling the spaces, so there was no room once we loaded up - but recently, one booth owner wanted to split her booth.  Kate thought to ask me again and we are in!  This was a fast and furious set up, the shelf supplied by the other lady in the booth for a week or so.  



                     



We are now looking for a display hutch (?) to sell our stock!  WHOOT!!
At Kate's Place!

Ok, laugh if you want to - this is one day's earnings for me!  Sharon's check was larger.  :-)




I can buy a whole yard of FABRIC!!  :-)


Medical Update:  None, same thing, different day.  Lol...  5 days until we see the hematologist.  

Friday, September 6, 2019

Land That I Love!

I spent Thursday with my daughter-in-love, Cheyenne.  (Have I said how much I absolutely LOVE them living here?!?)  She is helping me get the final things done for the fair.  We worked on an decorated t-shirt/no paint.  I am still learning about my sewing/embroidery Baby Lock Unity; laying out whatever I am trying to embroidery on, how to place the design and center it.  Cheyenne helped with all of that, then I showed her how to (wo)man the machine.  She sat and monitored that embroidery process and this is what we came up with:




We did good!  We did struggle on the color of the center of the flower, but I wanted the shirt to be red, white and blue.  Cheyenne liked the gold center.  I asked everyone nearby and our votes were half and half.  I put yellow, but it through me off.  I have changed to blue.  So far I like it, but then I realized I could have done crystal.  There I go second and third guessing myself!  😂

Health update:  Stitches out, dark blood, status quo until hematologist next Thursday.  Feeling better though and I was able to sleep on my side last night!  That is the first time in a very long time.  ❤️

I have my own CIGNA case manager.  She had been my person for several years, but she has moved on now.  A new one called today and after getting updated, she said, “I have a lot of reading to do!  You have educated me on some things I have never dealt with!”

Welcome to my world. 🌎 

Thursday, September 5, 2019

History of the Last 3 Weeks

This is mainly for my records so I remember what I have survived!

Here goes... I had hernia surgery on August 16.  On the 22nd, I had a pretty major bleed from the incision - see a previous post.

Steve called an ambulance which in itself was an ordeal...  The ER Dr put stitches in and kept me two days because I was still bleeding through the stitches.  Hematology was consulted and tests were run, but I was released before they came back. 

I have been bleeding from the suture holes since then.  I have changed the dressing every single day at least once.  It has been dried blood on the bandage, but on the incision it has been red, so just fresh seeping and drying brown.

3 days ago, I noticed a knot under the incision, but figured it is the healing process... you know scar tissue forming from surgery.  That night, I had this brilliant idea to sleep without the bandages and let it air out.  BIG mistake.  My husband spent the next day getting blood out of our sheets, my gown, undies and... well, you get the idea.  
Anyway, today, I noticed on the bandages about 3 times as much blood, so we re-dressed it.  In the process of redressing it I have to clean it.  Usually, I get red blood during the cleaning after I get the old cleaned up.  Today, when I removed the dressing to change, my belly button was full of brown (wet) blood.  I cleaned it, showered, brown blood kept coming, and I pressed on it a bit and sure enough, dark blood coming from under the sutures.

We redress it, and it is dark blood filling my belly button as hubby is redressing it.  Ya'll this is bizarre!  

I am waiting on my hematology appointment on Sept 12.  My surgeon has tried to rush it, didn’t happen.  I think they (Hematology) would have called me if there was anything concerning in the blood test.  They only thing that came back abnormal, that I know of, is my Van Willebrand's factor - which is high.  Near as I can tell, with my ‘Google Dr’ degree, is that all VWD numbers are LOW if there is a problem.  

I am going to my rheumatologist tomorrow, but he is at a different hospital (different reporting system he cannot see), I am going to an orthopedic Dr for my first time because I have a bad hip (he doesn't know me from Adam), and I see my surgeon again the day after on Thursday.  

I am totally weirded out by this.  I am thinking it must be have formed a hematoma under the incision?  My surgeon is baffled, but he is aware of the bleeding, but not the now dark blood.  I will call him tomorrow.  I cannot get into the hematologist earlier, Dr has tried to rush it.

Could this have anything to do with PI?  I have no idea what to do, but I can assure you I am sick of this whole year/mess.  I don't feel well and have no strength whatsoever.  My immunologist is unaware of this whole ordeal, but I don't think he can do a thing anyway.  

Thoughts?  Ideas?  I am at a loss.

Going back to my surgeon today to get the stitches removed.  Wish me luc!

Wednesday, September 4, 2019

Recycled Item From Denim

I signed up to make 8 things for OHCE (Oklahoma Home and Community Education), an 'adult 4-H' group which I belong to.  These are entries for the county fair.  One of the entries I signed up for is to make an item from recycled denim. I grabbed a pair of Steve's jeans and started cutting them apart.  I had no idea what I was going for, but I ended up with potholders!  There is enough padding in them that you can put your hand IN the pocket and it won't burn to pick up anything hot.  


We will see how I do in the fair placings.  At this point, I am happy they are ready.  Doing anything has not been easy this year, but I do love sewing and more than that, I love the fair and the ladies in OHCE.  They keep me entertained.  

******

Medical update:  I went in to an orthopedic surgeon for my hip pain today.  Thank God I found out that my hip pain is from a bone spur - and pretty big one at that!  My hip is in otherwise good shape.  HALLELUJAH!  That is a huge weight off of my shoulders!  I got a steroid shot (OUCH!) and darn did that hurt, but I have to do exercises and he thinks it will help.  I can go back for more steroid shots if needed, but I hope the exercises and this shot does the trick.



Tomorrow, I go back to the GI surgeon, 3 weeks after my surgery, to get my stitches out.  I am still bleeding, but it is dark, old blood from the incision.  Who knows?  I give up trying to figure things out.


I did get a message from my primary care Dr (an immunologist) and he requested me to be front center at 4pm tomorrow.  I am going to wait to see what the GI surgeon says before I decide to keep the 4pm surgeon.  I am just tired.  Of medical.  Of Drs.  Of hurting.


***********

Finally, years ago, before Steve and I went to Singapore, Steve and I made a will.  It needs
to be updated, and the more medical problems I have, the more I KNOW I need to update it.  I almost died this year!  

There are things I want in it, but more importantly, I want my funeral, etc, planned out.  I don't want anyone having to do this after I pass away in the heat of the moment.  I want them to call and it is done.  So that part I will be working on.




I know this medical stuff will do me in.  People have said, "Good thing you don't have diabetes..."  "At least you don't have cancer..."  "You are young, you will be fine - at least you are not as old as me..."  Drink this or take that, it cured me/my brother/my sister/my grandma, etc."  


I am glad I don't have diabetes, or cancer - that is true.  But what I have there is no cure for and no hope for a cure.  It is inevitable, it will eventually kill me because I cannot fight any infections without intervention and if the intervention doesn't work, my body surely won't.  Most people's bodies help the antibiotic, or chemo, or insulin fight the disease.  My body is incapable of helping at all.  Zilch.  So while I am glad I don't have this or that, I sadly think, "but what I do have there is no hope for and no help for".  


The likely hood of me growing old is... well, according to NIH, they don't know WHY I am still alive, so maybe I will surprise everyone and live a long, ripe ol' life, right?  What I am trying to say is, everyone has their own burdens.  Don't diminish them because you may not know (or understand) the entire story, and maybe what you are seeing is "the mask"; the survival mask that we wear to put one foot in front of the other.

My motto is "Keep on Swimmin'!"  I am more bobbling now, but I am definitely not yet belly up.  The fight is real.  Please continue to pray for me.



Thursday, August 29, 2019

What Do I Do With Scrap Fabric?

I made Pot Holders!  Didn't they come out adorable?






Medical Update:  I went to the GI Dr today and he is very concerned that I have a bleeding problem.  I am still bleeding from my incision two weeks out.  He is leaving the stitches another week and sending me to a hematologist in the meantime.  I did have a test that came back abnormal, which is why he is sending me in to a blood Dr.

I tire much easier than I should even though I know I have been through a lot this year.  I get frustrated with the lack of energy, but, I am trying.  I rest, I sew, I rest, I rest, I sew, I rest and then I go to bed.  It is time to be on the 'up end' of this all.

In the meantime, I have had 'water' in my ear at least 4 months.  I went to the ENT who said he didn't find anything, but in his report he said he could not access my left maxillary sinus.  What gives?  I get so done with Drs.

And then there is my hip which has bothered me for many, many years.  I finally decided to go into a Dr to see if they could give me a steroid shot to make it bearable.  Years ago I went in and the orthopedist said that is what they could do to help me then.  I was thinking back to when that was... Jeremy (36) was about 2 years old then.  Maybe I will take the shot now... lol...


Anyway, I sew between the health crisis' and rest... and I that is how I waste my time,  Cutting large fabric into small pieces and sewing them back to big pieces, then taking the scraps and making pot holders... or whatever whims I get.  These came out cute.

Wednesday, August 28, 2019

Something Fun for Once

I have a lot of scrap fabric.  A lot.  So, I was bored one day and I grabbed some and started sewing.  I sewed two pieces together until they were both about baby blanket sized.  I am sure something came up and they got tossed in the NTF bin... meaning Need To Finish.  

A few days ago, I was looking at projects I needed to do for the fair.  In OHCE, we all take a few things from the list and commit to making them.  I took "Random Craft from Scrap Fabric" as one of them.

Of course, I waited until the last month to work on any of my 8 projects, and then I had surprise surgery - after my Dec/Jan surprise bleed and surgery.  Needless to say, this year has not been my year.  So I guess I didn't wait until the last minute, but it is crunch time.  I pulled out those random fabrics sewn together and figured I would whip something up with them.  Well, here is one potholder that I came up with out of those scraps... pretty cool huh?





I will show you the set when I finish it tomorrow.  I do love sewing, and it occupies my time and thoughts.  It keeps my mind off of my medical problems - which seem to be more and more lately.

Medical Update:  NIH e-mailed me and said that they don't even want me to try to fly until next spring.  They advised me to take this time to heal - I have had two serious major abdominal surgeries this year, one major bleed and one significant bleed.  They advised rest.  Thankfully.

Tomorrow morning is my surgery followup visit with my GI Dr.  We will see if he removes the stitches they added last weekend.  I will be 12 days out from surgery, 1 week out from the bleed where they added those stitches.  Holding my breath... 

Today I met with a sewing group from the Methodist Church in Inola.  Finally, I may brave that step again.  Praying for a church home. 

That is it for today.  Going to rest.  I seem to need a lot of that lately... lol... 

Sunday, August 25, 2019

This Happened.

Thursday, 6 days after my hernia surgery, I was in the bathroom brushing my teeth.  I was looking forward to a nice night of rest as my pain was subsiding enough to finally move easily and rest.  I thought a moth had gotten under my gown and went to wave the gown to get rid of it, but when I looked down, that picture below is what I saw.

Trying to rinse my mouth while yelling at Steve just caused the blood to pour more.  I finally got rinsed and got his attention.  He came in, saw my dilemma and immediately said, "I am calling 911".  Somehow, he got on the phone to call them, and I dialed Stephenie.  I think I put the phone down, trying to answer his questions while holding pressure on my stomach at the same time - I have no idea why I put the phone down.  Thankfully, she heard enough to know to get to us now.  She brought Todd, who thankfully, held pressure and kept checks on me until an ambulance got there 45+ minutes later.  Inola Fire and Rescue never came and we later found out they never got the call.

Fast forward to the hospital.  The ER Dr decided that I had a small separation in my incision, so she added a couple of stitches, and a couple more... and a couple more.  She found that I was bleeding through the stitch HOLES.  Baffled, they applied pressure, checked later and again, found it seeping through the holes.  She called my surgeon who came in and found... I was bleeding through the stitch HOLES.  He is also baffled.  Though I am not pouring blood like I was when I came in, they didn't want to send me home bleeding at all.  So they apply pressure bandages and send me to a hospital room to monitor me.  Everyone is baffled that I am seeping blood through the stitch holes.  I think I became the holey joke.

The following day, Friday, my surgeon came in 24 hours after the pressure bandages were applied, and found I was still seeping blood.  Obviously, I wasn't going to bleed to death seeping blood, but he decided to call the hematology team in.  They took a bunch of blood work to see if I have a bleeding problem that has suddenly arisen.  I haven't gotten any of those results yet.  I will be going in to my surgeon Thursday so maybe they will have the results then.  My surgeon is concerned that I have a bleeding problem, that was actually what caused the colon bleed in Dec/Jan.  He says it makes more sense than this random bleed 6 days into surgery.  I should be well into the healing part by now.  He said he could see a pull a day or two out, but not a week out.  It is all a guessing game right now.  I am sick of blood though.  When it is coming from me, it is un-nerving.  

I don't think I could pay my surgeon to operate on me right now though... Lol... 

Anyhoo, I am home again, and I am still seeping.  I just looked at my gauze and I have a spot on it - not big, but it should have none at all.



Depression is swallowing me whole right now.  I am having a tough time.  Too many medical issues, medical bills, and not enough fun in my life.  I should not have to worry about continuous medical stuff at this time in my life.  Steve did not work as hard as he did for as many years as he did to go through medical crisis after medical crisis with me.  We need to have lots of time for fun stuffs.   

I am sad for us both, but more sad for him.  My medical has been a problem for us since the very first day we met, and it hasn't let up.  He deserves a break.



Friday, August 16, 2019

Now That’s Out of the Way!

Let the healing begin!

Yesterday’s infusion and today’s surgery went well.  Sharon came and sat with me during the infusion and like an airhead I had her increase the rate to 53 so it would go in faster.  Well I got about half way through I got slammed with an infusion migraine.  Slowing it down didn’t make it go away, but it stayed there at that level - and It is still lurking.  😢




I was surprised to find out that I was 1st case today!  I also found out that there are 29 other cases at St John’s main hospital in Tulsa!  Wow!  That is a lot of operating rooms!  Maybe that is why I got so many medical bracelets!  They may have needed directions to the perfect operating room!  😂





Surgery for my sudden hernia  went well.  My hernia was bigger that he thought.  He also found a weak spot in the wall above it and fixed it as well.  My tummy feels like a road grater
went across it, and the mad sewing club stitched it up!   I will have to slow down and be extremely careful For several months. 

The Dr thinks it Is very possible that my Lupus and Connective tissue disease that might have caused the hernia.  He put mesh in both places and my body as to ‘grow into’ the mesh.  Sound like fun?  Nopers?  I didn’t think so either.  We will see... 

Finally, he cut above and below my belly button.  So essentially my belly button looks like this - yes, I drew it!  The lavender is super glue!  



Let the healing begin!


Wednesday, August 14, 2019

Sucker Punched



I am disappointed.  
I am mad.  
I am discouraged.  
I am sad.  
I am disheartened.

Friday I am having surgery again.  I have a pretty decent sized incisional hernia that has grown significantly since it appeared at the beginning of our vacation.  I didn’t tell a soul, not even Steve, until late last week when I knew it could not be ignored.  I wasn’t going to mess up anyone’s vacation.

I am... broken.  
Again.  
Or... is it still?  

I am “unreliable” someone has stated.  In my previous life, that would have never been a thought.  

In my present life, my BODY is unreliable.  I have no control over my ICL, hypogammaglobulinanemia, Sjögren’s, Lupus, sarcoidosis, CFS, and connective tissue disease.  

I think I am on even keel and I get sucker punched.  Like today.  STAT surgery.  STAT IvIG so I can even HAVE surgery.  

The depression is sucking me in.
Again.  

But I am strong.
I can do hard things.
I will, once again, do this; 
with Red’s help,
with God’s help...
WE can do hard things.

Prayers welcomed. 
I have big plans the second week in September.  Would love to keep them -even sitting down.

No comments needed.  Save them for prayers.  Thanks.  ❤️

Monday, August 12, 2019

If You Want to Know How Fast Your Month Passes...

... just pay attention to how often you ‘top up’ your pill containers!  



So the next thing you are going to say is that is WAY too much medicine.  I agree, but since I shoulda been dead a few years ago we are all doing something right, right?

And just to reassure you, some of those prescriptions are actually prescription vitamins; folic acid, D,  diflucan (which because of ICL I take daily), and 2 others.  The ones on top of the others are the refills, so that cut cuts it down as well.  Yes, still too many meds, but this is how I have to live my life - cautious and preventive care.  

I do watch the meds that are given to me.  I don’t take everything the Drs toss at me either, but I do want to live and with ICL, there are constant prophylactic antibiotics and other medicines  that I take to ward off the bad stuff that I am susceptible to

Today I found out I definitely have a hernia.  Not small, but, a big, must take care of now hernia - unless tomorrow’s Dr says otherwise.  My Dr said right away.  The GI Dr visit is scheduled for tomorrow.  

Not.  Happy.

But alive.  So yes, I am happy.  Just not these circumstances.

Sunday, August 11, 2019

Craft Show 181 Ranch



I can sew all day long.  I can break as I need and walk right back in to my sewing after a rest.  I have sewn and fallen in love with so many things that I make multiples!  What the heck am I going to do with all of them?  I only have so many friends and family... so away in a tote for ‘someday’.  My partner in crime, Sharon, was the same way....  so both of us (very broken) buddies decide we will sell our wares at a very large craft show in December! 🎄  😳

I have been playing with ways to market the stuff.  Yes, this far in advance!  I also work the fair in September, so I am preparing for both.  Anyhoo, Ziplocks seem to work well for displaying (and keeping dirty hands off) and I put them on the clip slacks hangers knowing my handsome hubby will have to help us come up with a display.

I started looking at those hangers online as I needed some more - man they are expensive!  Then I happened across someone on our Facebook Market Place selling a huge box of those hangers for $30.  Steve took me to get them and we ended up with a very cool display from the same place that will work for one wall - also for $30.  He can use this same pattern to build two more and space those dowell rods further apart to accommodate our bigger things!   

This is what I ended up playing with today!  Isn’t it awesome?!?  Go us!  🎉

Now, please pray Sharon and I both stay well so we can do the craft show!  😂

Saturday, August 10, 2019

Climbing Mountains


But for how long?

Day 2 of OshKosh.  My belly button fell out!  😳
Now stop laughing!!  😂😂

I have had a long struggle back from my bleed.  I am doing ok, I just don’t have the stamina that I did even before the bleed. 

Not wanting to spoil the trip in Wisconsin for everyone, I kept quiet and did the best I could, but it was not a simple task - as I not only had less energy than normal, but I felt weird as well.  It felt like some things “fell” inside and were displaced.  I finally called the Dr yesterday and will go in Monday.  We think it is a surgical hernia, which, if it is, will require more surgery.  😢  I have no energy for that.

I also have a hip that gives me trouble, and has for many years.  I started thinking it was time to get a steroid shot in it - as was suggested many years ago when I went to the orthopedist.  He said I had very little cartilage but I was too young to do anything but a steroid shot... how long ago was that, anyway?... Let’s see... Jeremy was two... or three... and he is now 36...  Yep, it may be time to see about that shot... 😂  Appointment made for a week and a half away.  Oh, and with the blood disorder, I don’t think I can have a steroid shot either.  Will beg Dr #1 before going to Dr #2.

I constantly have physical ‘issues’; lupus causes problems with my kidneys and with my connective tissues, so the hip is likely many years of lupus.  The blood disorders, the sarcoidosis, the Sjogren’s, the lupus... all taking the fun out of my life.

I try to stay strong and healthy, to not talk about my physical life, it always seems to come back to it... because... this IS my life... the mountain keeps getting higher and the desire to climb is dwindling.  In fact, I very nearly don’t give a damn.

My poor husband.  He is so strong but I hate that so much falls on him.  I love him for everything he is.  He does not deserve me and my struggles.  It is a sad state of affairs;  I feel guilty and he continues to be my rock.  We do this together, but he gets the raw end of the deal.

The reality is it gets harder every day, for both of us.

Monday, July 22, 2019

OshKosh Trip

Got got out late, but we arrived safe and sound.

We had our traditional beginnings of the trip:


Aunt and Uncle had a bit of a problem, but Aunt and Steve got it taken care of!


Finally arrived at the little campground!  Pony Express in Marysville, Missouri.  We will be coming back.  Wonderful campground, great people!


Got all set up, cooked supper and rested.





We are all 4 together and we are still hooked up to our truck.  BIG thunder out there, storms coming through to haul the 100 degree temps out.  Looking forward to cooler air.  Gonna sleep good with the rain.  Night all.  ❤️