Update About Nothing

I went to the GP this morning who referred me to a Urologist.  The urologist did an ultra sound on my kidneys and didn't find a thing.  All clear.   He sent me home with Lyrica and Arcoxia, both pain meds; one for arthritis and one for some kind of nerve pain.  Neither has helped so far but who knows?  I am not a Dr and maybe they will.  As usual I will give it a chance, but have little hope.  I don't think I have arthritis and I don't think I have fibromyalgia which I think is what Lyrica is for.

I go in to get blood work (my request) tomorrow after a 12 hour fast.  At least they can confirm my thyroid meds are working, my iron is binding to my blood and whatever else is ok.  Then I am done.  Absolutely done.  I am not going back to even one Dr here after that.  I will rot in hello before I waste another dime. 

I know this is not in my head.  I have seldom had things stop me from having fun, but there was always a reason when I did have something stop me.  I don't feel like doing a thing, but I force myself.  I am getting to not even want to do that now; I have very little energy, there are sharp pains radiating up and down from that spot, I can't comfortably sit, don't sleep well, my heart flutters, my hair is falling out, I have cold 'surges' (for lack of better description) in that area and my tummy is super swollen.  Yes, I am overweight but I have been for 25 years and never had this kind of pain.  Yes, I have lost 55 lbs, so I should be feeling better, right?

The urologist quickly half assed ran the ultrasound around the area I complain about and didn't see anything, but he was concentrating on the kidneys and the pain is not in the kidney area.  He finally said he thinks it is the layer of fat something-about-binding around my stomach from losing so much weight.  Never mind I can pinch 2 inches of fat to death and never hit the area that hurts.  Yeah, that was his suggestion.  

My pain is very deep – not the fat level of skin.  Like bone 'lining' pain... ?

He was very 'cool' from the minute I stepped in – It has to be on the computer that they think I am a hypochondriac.  There is no other reason they would blow me off like they do; fat, bandaid patches, and seemingly unconcerned from the moment I step in the door.  I am so over it.  I don't give a flip if I croak tonight - just find out why I did; that is all I ask.  I promise, there will be a reason.

I.  Am.  Not.  Dreaming. This. 

And I am tired.  Done. Over it. And going to bed again because I cannot sit here.

I am sick of trying to convince Drs to figure it out.  

THAT.  Is not my job.  
THAT.  Is why we have paid them thousands of dollars.  

And for thousands of dollars they give me bandaids, tell me CAT scans are God, and God says it isn't serious so it's all ok - and today the fat crap.  Yeah, I am done. 

Good night all.  Tomorrow, I promise to be off my rant.  Tonight, I am hurting with my non-existent pain.  I will change my focus tomorrow.  I am fighting mad and super discouraged tonight. 

Thanks, Kim for coming to eat with me.  I enjoyed visiting and it took my mind off of my discouragement.  I love you for that.  I am sorry I didn't feel like going out.  Maybe tomorrow.

That's the update folks. Sorry it is with such a pissy attitude. I will sleep it off.  I am truly sick of dozens of years of Drs saying nothing is wrong and tossing pills at the nothing.

Tomorrow I will be over it.