It's Officially Culture Shock ;-)

Thanks to one of my blog readers for the following link:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Culture_shock

The shock (of moving to a foreign country) often consists of distinct phases, though not everyone passes through these phases and not everyone is in the new culture long enough to pass through all three:

• Honeymoon Phase - During this period the differences between the old and new culture are seen in a romantic light, wonderful and new. For example, in moving to a new country, an individual might love the new foods, the pace of the life, the people's habits, the buildings and so on.

• Negotiation Phase - After some time (usually weeks), differences between the old and new culture become apparent and may create anxiety. One may long for food the way it is prepared in one's native country, may find the pace of life too fast or slow, may find the people's habits annoying, disgusting, and irritating etc. This phase is often marked by mood swings caused by minor issues or without apparent reason. Depression is not uncommon.

• Adjustment Phase - Again, after some time (usually 6 - 12 months), one grows accustomed to the new culture and develops routines. One knows what to expect in most situations and the host country no longer feels all that new. One becomes concerned with basic living again, and things become more "normal".

• Reverse Culture Shock (a.k.a. Re-entry Shock) - Returning to one's home culture after growing accustomed to a new one can produce the same effects as described above, which an affected person often finds more surprising and difficult to deal with as the original culture shock.

I think I would be classified in the Adjustment Phase, with occasional Negotiation Phase issues... lol... I don't find the culture here disgusting by any means. I do enjoy most aspects of the area, and I have gotten accustomed as to what to expect in most situations and it is mostly normal to me now. Even though I would prefer to be in the states, I do think overall, my adjustments have been much easier than I thought they would. I am comfortable going between the different countries (US, Singapore and Korea) and enjoy parts of all of them. I also think if we had our 'stuff' here it would make a huge difference - though I know it is not possible to bring it for future business reasons. This was supposed to be short term and he is still on US payroll - and there are a lot of complicated things that just do not make it possible to bring any of our belongings except the basic necessities.

...again from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Culture_shock:

There are three basic outcomes of the Adjustment Phase:

• Some people find it impossible to accept the foreign culture and integrate. They isolate themselves from the host country's environment, which they come to perceive as hostile, withdraw into a ghetto and see return to their own culture as the only way out. These Rejectors also have the greatest problems re-integrating back home after return. Approx. 60% of expatriates behave in this way.

• Some people integrate fully and take on all parts of the host culture while losing their original identity. They normally remain in the host country forever. Approx. 10% of expatriates belong to this group of Adopters.

• Some people manage to adapt the aspects of the host culture they see as positive, while keeping some of their own and creating their unique blend. They have no major problems returning home or relocating elsewhere. Approx. 30% of expatriates are these so-called Cosmopolitans.

In this phase, I don't seem to fall nicely into any of these categories; however, I do see the only comfort for me is to return to my home. I don't withdraw from the culture; we have embraced more here than most of the expatriates I know - and we continue to do so. I have not lost my original identity, and I enjoy the people here in Singapore and getting to know the different cultures. I have adapted rather nicely as near as I can tell, with occasional outbursts such as yesterday. My husband says he has been pleasantly surprised as to the ease of my adjustments.

I guess I would have to put myself into a new phase calling it the Chameleon Phase. I seem to change accordingly to what is going on around me. I accept the foreign cultures and integrate comfortably. I see nothing here as hostile, just far away from home. I don't reject the host country. I am the 'alien' here and I embrace what it has to offer - and I know I am the one that needs to adjust to this country's expectations - not them to me. That is the ‘chameleon’ in me - I seemingly change on the outside, but the inside is the old me with a new awareness.

In no way do I reject this country, its ideals or its people; nor do I find I would live here (or anywhere else but the USA) forever. I guess if I were forced to put myself in any of the wiki phases, it would be in the Cosmopolitan Phase, however; I would not say there are no major problems, because the homesickness to me is major and relocating over and over is not an option I would like to consider. I do see the positive that this life offered me and my experiences of growing from it. I will never take for granted what I had at home again. It is a blessing to be offered this opportunity, but it will even more of a blessing to go home when that time arrives. I will miss what we have here, just as I miss what we have there. I can see that will be another adjustment entirely. Whew! I guess all of this is better than the alternatives – I do like waking each day with anticipation of what is coming.

Thank you for sending this. I do surround myself as much as possible with my US friends, but I don't expect them to cater to me, nor do I barge in and beg to be with them. It is difficult for me to step out and ask to be a part of someone's day. I do spend a lot of the time in the condo during the weekdays as I am not a shopper nor have I ever have been. I could go to the parks which I would enjoy and honestly I cannot figure out why I cannot boot myself into going out - maybe that I feel frivolous to have taxi ride for no real reason? I am not sure.

I think I need to look for some volunteer work. I have always done that in the states, so maybe that is something I should look in to. How do I even begin to do that?

I appreciate the link to this article. I know now it is normal feelings that I am going through. Thanks everyone for the hugs. I know we will all make it through this and be richer because we are growing from the experiences. Each has their own struggles in life and yesterday was one of mine.

Today was indeed a better day. I was able to relax and enjoy breakfast at McDonald’s then a leisurely walk to get a few groceries. Again, I am looking forward to the new week and my pouty face is gone again.

Back to normal posts tomorrow – if my blogger and computer hold out :-)