Airports, Planes and Flying

Already late for our 3:40pm take-off on the Dallas to New Orleans flight, I glance out the window as we were boarding. They have the engine covers off of both the engines. I thought how reassuring this is to us passengers getting on the plane - after all we are already late and they are working on engines?! 


Finally boarded I am pleasantly surprised to be flying with an open seat in the middle. Looking forward to a few minutes looking out the window seat, I realize immediately I have a 'chatter' on the next seat over - separating us by one seat. Rambling on about everything under the sun, he just chatted away about divers, robot subs, deep sea whatevers and so on. 


We take off. He is still rambling and it is getting hotter and hotter on the plane. The stewardess explains they "thought they had the air conditioner problem fixed, but apparently not" and keeps on trucking down the aisle. Mr Chatterbox keeps chattering. He is loud and obnoxious, but he is entertaining all six rows in front of us and the six behind us. 


The flight crew come down the aisle with our free drinks. They go back to the back. They come back down the aisle collecting trash (all three of them) and paused next to us and all 3 together. This is what I hear: 

"Why did they put this plane back on the line?" 

"I don't know, it is falling apart! The air conditioner doesn't work, the brakes are always locking up, the engines give us trouble - heck the whole plane is falling apart!"

"I know! I can't believe they would even consider putting the plane back on line!  It is a piece of junk!" 

"Oh well, hopefully it is all fixed now". 

"Yeah, OBVIOUSLY they did a good job - the air conditioner works rather nicely, doesn't it?" 


They roll their eyes and walk away, merrily collecting trash again. 


I am sitting 4,000+ feet up in the air feeling quite reassured. Thinking back, before we boarded... the engine doors were open... 


Then Mr Chatterbox, bless is heart, says laughing to me... "I noticed the yellow tape on the doors as we were boarding - did you see it?" 


"no... what yellow tape" 


"Well, it said VOID all over it, and there was tape in a big yellow X that said CAUTION! surrounding the opening of the door." 


"Niiiccceeee..." *thinking in my head, last plane-same airlines, the back of the arm rest fell off in my hand, and Liz points out on it how dirty (black sooty) the wings were on it. Now this one had some delays for air conditioning problems - or was it? 
 

Mr Chatterbox begins again. I found out way more about oil, divers, robots, bottom of rigs, barnacles, steel and hurricane damage than a normal person should ever have to know.

Mr Pilotman comes over, introduces himself as Mr Pilotman and announces we are getting ready to land, store all items, upright the seats, prepare for bumpy landing and secure seatbelts. Mr PILOTMAN - not his crew says this. I think yeah, this is looking reeeeeal good. 


The not so bumpy touchdown was great, so I was beginning to feel much better now - he hit the 'slow down' whatever that is - and just as quick the brakes LOCK UP. 


Have you every bumped down a runway at a bizzillion miles an hour with brakes locked? (Angie don't read this - this is the FIRST time I have ever had this happen - k?) Our bodies were jack hammered the entire length of the runway. 


We got stopped - by the grace of God and His angels, we got stopped. At the end of the runway - and we weren't going any further on our own power...


The cute little tow buggy came and pushed us to our terminal. It was a long way, we were at the end of the runway by the grass - and staring the interstate when we got finally got stopped. I could see the tag numbers on the cars.  There is good in this; we DID stop. 


Everything fell out of the baggage departments on poor innocent passengers as they opened them to claim their personal belongings. Yes, this shows me the landing was as rough as I thought it was. You could hear a pin drop in that plane - if you had not been hearing the stuff falling out of the overheads. No one spoke. Not a peep as we exited. 


I did not thank the flight crew.

I did not thank the pilot.

I did not thank Mr. Chatterbox.

I did look back at the door as I exited the plane.



Surrounding the entire door opening (as if it had sealed the door closed - and then a pocket knife had cut it open), there was yellow tape saying "VOID VOID VOID" and then a huge X that had been placed over the entire door and off the edges that said "CAUTION! CAUTION! CAUTION!" 


I DID thank God I was planted safely on the ground - and I am saying lots of prayers to muster the strength to go to Singapore. Honestly, nothing like this has ever happened to me before... rofl... and it WOULD happen right before my big flights. 


I suggested to the nice lady at the lobby counter when I got off the plane that she might suggest to the crew to hold their plane bashing conversations in someplace other than the isle, then I sweetly suggested they remove their death tape from the doors as you enter - and fix the brakes. The air conditioning was an option. I dropped it. 


I wonder how long a boat would take?