Hematologist My Last!

...  I will just do the job myself!

Remember that hematologist appointment 2.5 weeks out for that 4 week bleed?

I went.  He assured me that my blood work was fine; no bleeding disorder.  So can ya help me quit bleeding?  Nope, your bloodwork is fine.  Ummm ok... ?  Since it is fine, Goodbye.  😳

I was so mad I went to the drug store and bought 3 things; super glue, spray to close cuts and bandaids to stop bleeding.  I applied all after shower and dabbing it dry.  I did so well it stopped!!

My Dr’s PA laughed at me today.  She checked it and told me to add antibiotic to two places slow healing, and the bleeding was caused by....

You ready....?

She reminded me they gave me shots to keep me from clotting after surgery and it took longer for my body to use it up.  PI people don’t react like normal people.

Goodness!  Why did I go to a freaking hematologist?!?  🤦🏻‍♀️

I am fine, healing, no longer bleeding thanks to super glue, super glue spray and the magic bandaid.  

She did say I have to slow dow and allow my body to heal.  Apparently, 2 major abdominal surgeries in 7 months is a big deal... who knew?  🤷🏻‍♀️

Today was a long infusion day, I feel like I have the flu - which is sometimes normal with IgIV infusions... so going to rest!  Thanks everyone for the thoughts and prayers.  ❤️

This Is My Brother, Danny

                              

Meet Daniel Nimrod Harder.  He suffers from severe PTSD.  He is an Army soldier who has been ON the wall in Germany when it came tumbling down.  He was standing UNDER the Challenger when it fell from the sky.  He was NEXT to his friend’s side when war ‘games’ went bad.  He used every medical skill he knew trying to save him, but stayed with him until his dying breath.  

He was IN the Pentagon on 9-11.  He was one of a handful of first responders (a medic) immediately on the scene.  He repeatedly went back into the wreckage to pull multiple injured and burning people out, permanently injuring his own back and legs doing so.

Danny suffers from severe PTSD.  He struggles daily, but September 9 and the days leading up to it are particularly difficult.  

He was traumatized by the plane that flew into the Pentagon and now terrified of the sound of jetliners, so much so that he had a heart attack when the engines roared to action during take-off.  

PTSD is real.  It sucks the life from the bravest, but it is ‘earned’ by BEING the bravest; by going where few dare to go and doing what few dare to do.

                                       

This is my brother, Danny.  Please pray for him today.  Please pray for acceptance of what he could not change, pray for thankfulness that he was present to save all he could, pray for peace for what he has done and seen - and pray for the grace to move on in honor or those who didn’t.

This is my brother, Danny.  I am proud of the survivor in him, the will to move on and the determination to put one foot in front of the other on days he just doesn’t want to.  The strength it takes to do so is a Nimrod trait.  We are not quitters, but peace is evasive, something we never seem to find.  

Pray for my brother to finally be free from the PTSD.  Forever.

Pray for my brother, and pray for others with PTSD.  May they find the peace to continue to live and to honor the ones left behind.

I love you Danny.  You are amazing.  I am proud of you.  ❤️

                                           

Fair Entry Day Has Arrived!

All of the entries are in.  The first picture is our area; 9 tables of elementary through 11 years old.  

They are organized by categories (we have 37) and ready for judging first thing tomorrow morning.  

Once the judges finish, our job is to attach ribbons with the exhibitor’s names and display so everyone can see them.

We are up 40 exhibits this year!  Last year we had 178, this year, 218!!  Wow!

We are tired. Judging starts early tomorrow morning.  We must be there at 8am.

Tomorrow I will have pictures of these same tables after our work is done.

Goodnight world.   🌎 

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Christmas is coming!

Here is another of my projects for the Rogers County Fair.  It is a sweatshirt with jewels for berries.  I am really enjoying my Baby Lock Unity sewing/embroidery machine!  Cheyenne, our daughter-in-love, is helping me figure it all out.  

It is so nice having them near!  I asked her yesterday if she could pick me up at the nail shop after I got a pedicure today on her way to the fair.  Steve dropped me off and just a few minutes later she came in, sat next to me and we got pedis - totally a pleasant surprise.  

 

Fair entries tomorrow.  Gonna be a busy day.  Hope I can do it, I crashed hard today after helping Steve finish his BBQ sauce canning.  Have I said how much I love this man?  He is getting the raw end of the deal though.  I hope I can pull out of this, it has been a rough year.  He is a trooper helping me.  I feel like an anchor pulling us in though.

Oklahoma!

Here is a wall hanging that I just finished making:

The instant I saw this, I knew I had to make it.  I still absolutely love it. :-)  It makes me smile.

This is the back - and isn't it perfect?

I am entering this in the Rogers County Fair Tuesday under and OHCE Wall Hanging.  I think it might be a winner...  (It took first place!)

No new medical update other than this has been a down, exhausting, achy day - for no reason.  4 days until the hematologist.  

Kate’s Place: 230 Broadway Boutique

"Not Your Typical Boutique"

My friend, Sharon, and I sew our hearts out.  We had to find an outlet to make more money and use all of our piles of loot.  I signed us up for a great craft show in December 2019, but we really need a year round outlet.  

I had been asked to put a booth in by, Kate, a boutique owner when she first opened over a year (?) ago, but I didn’t think I could commit to keeping it stocked.  I just have not been well and I had no stock built up at all.  So while I have been healing, I have stayed home and sewed - a lot.  Sharon has kept me company because I have not been physically capable of going out much.  So we have loads of loot ready to GO now!

Well, Kate has been full since filling the spaces, so there was no room once we loaded up - but recently, one booth owner wanted to split her booth.  Kate thought to ask me again and we are in!  This was a fast and furious set up, the shelf supplied by the other lady in the booth for a week or so.  

                     

We are now looking for a display hutch (?) to sell our stock!  WHOOT!!

At Kate's Place!

Ok, laugh if you want to - this is one day's earnings for me!  Sharon's check was larger.  :-)

I can buy a whole yard of FABRIC!!  :-)

Medical Update:  None, same thing, different day.  Lol...  5 days until we see the hematologist.  

Land That I Love!

I spent Thursday with my daughter-in-love, Cheyenne.  (Have I said how much I absolutely LOVE them living here?!?)  She is helping me get the final things done for the fair.  We worked on an decorated t-shirt/no paint.  I am still learning about my sewing/embroidery Baby Lock Unity; laying out whatever I am trying to embroidery on, how to place the design and center it.  Cheyenne helped with all of that, then I showed her how to (wo)man the machine.  She sat and monitored that embroidery process and this is what we came up with:

We did good!  We did struggle on the color of the center of the flower, but I wanted the shirt to be red, white and blue.  Cheyenne liked the gold center.  I asked everyone nearby and our votes were half and half.  I put yellow, but it through me off.  I have changed to blue.  So far I like it, but then I realized I could have done crystal.  There I go second and third guessing myself!  😂

Health update:  Stitches out, dark blood, status quo until hematologist next Thursday.  Feeling better though and I was able to sleep on my side last night!  That is the first time in a very long time.  ❤️

I have my own CIGNA case manager.  She had been my person for several years, but she has moved on now.  A new one called today and after getting updated, she said, “I have a lot of reading to do!  You have educated me on some things I have never dealt with!”

Welcome to my world. 🌎 

History of the Last 3 Weeks

This is mainly for my records so I remember what I have survived!

Here goes... I had hernia surgery on August 16.  On the 22nd, I had a pretty major bleed from the incision - see a previous post.

Steve called an ambulance which in itself was an ordeal...  The ER Dr put stitches in and kept me two days because I was still bleeding through the stitches.  Hematology was consulted and tests were run, but I was released before they came back. 

I have been bleeding from the suture holes since then.  I have changed the dressing every single day at least once.  It has been dried blood on the bandage, but on the incision it has been red, so just fresh seeping and drying brown.

3 days ago, I noticed a knot under the incision, but figured it is the healing process... you know scar tissue forming from surgery.  That night, I had this brilliant idea to sleep without the bandages and let it air out.  BIG mistake.  My husband spent the next day getting blood out of our sheets, my gown, undies and... well, you get the idea.  
Anyway, today, I noticed on the bandages about 3 times as much blood, so we re-dressed it.  In the process of redressing it I have to clean it.  Usually, I get red blood during the cleaning after I get the old cleaned up.  Today, when I removed the dressing to change, my belly button was full of brown (wet) blood.  I cleaned it, showered, brown blood kept coming, and I pressed on it a bit and sure enough, dark blood coming from under the sutures.

We redress it, and it is dark blood filling my belly button as hubby is redressing it.  Ya'll this is bizarre!  

I am waiting on my hematology appointment on Sept 12.  My surgeon has tried to rush it, didn’t happen.  I think they (Hematology) would have called me if there was anything concerning in the blood test.  They only thing that came back abnormal, that I know of, is my Van Willebrand's factor - which is high.  Near as I can tell, with my ‘Google Dr’ degree, is that all VWD numbers are LOW if there is a problem.  

I am going to my rheumatologist tomorrow, but he is at a different hospital (different reporting system he cannot see), I am going to an orthopedic Dr for my first time because I have a bad hip (he doesn't know me from Adam), and I see my surgeon again the day after on Thursday.  

I am totally weirded out by this.  I am thinking it must be have formed a hematoma under the incision?  My surgeon is baffled, but he is aware of the bleeding, but not the now dark blood.  I will call him tomorrow.  I cannot get into the hematologist earlier, Dr has tried to rush it.

Could this have anything to do with PI?  I have no idea what to do, but I can assure you I am sick of this whole year/mess.  I don't feel well and have no strength whatsoever.  My immunologist is unaware of this whole ordeal, but I don't think he can do a thing anyway.  

Thoughts?  Ideas?  I am at a loss.

Going back to my surgeon today to get the stitches removed.  Wish me luc!

Recycled Item From Denim

I signed up to make 8 things for OHCE (Oklahoma Home and Community Education), an 'adult 4-H' group which I belong to.  These are entries for the county fair.  One of the entries I signed up for is to make an item from recycled denim. I grabbed a pair of Steve's jeans and started cutting them apart.  I had no idea what I was going for, but I ended up with potholders!  There is enough padding in them that you can put your hand IN the pocket and it won't burn to pick up anything hot.  

We will see how I do in the fair placings.  At this point, I am happy they are ready.  Doing anything has not been easy this year, but I do love sewing and more than that, I love the fair and the ladies in OHCE.  They keep me entertained.  

******
Medical update:  I went in to an orthopedic surgeon for my hip pain today.  Thank God I found out that my hip pain is from a bone spur - and pretty big one at that!  My hip is in otherwise good shape.  HALLELUJAH!  That is a huge weight off of my shoulders!  I got a steroid shot (OUCH!) and darn did that hurt, but I have to do exercises and he thinks it will help.  I can go back for more steroid shots if needed, but I hope the exercises and this shot does the trick.

Tomorrow, I go back to the GI surgeon, 3 weeks after my surgery, to get my stitches out.  I am still bleeding, but it is dark, old blood from the incision.  Who knows?  I give up trying to figure things out.

I did get a message from my primary care Dr (an immunologist) and he requested me to be front center at 4pm tomorrow.  I am going to wait to see what the GI surgeon says before I decide to keep the 4pm surgeon.  I am just tired.  Of medical.  Of Drs.  Of hurting.

***********

Finally, years ago, before Steve and I went to Singapore, Steve and I made a will.  It needs

to be updated, and the more medical problems I have, the more I KNOW I need to update it.  I almost died this year!  

There are things I want in it, but more importantly, I want my funeral, etc, planned out.  I don't want anyone having to do this after I pass away in the heat of the moment.  I want them to call and it is done.  So that part I will be working on.

I know this medical stuff will do me in.  People have said, "Good thing you don't have diabetes..."  "At least you don't have cancer..."  "You are young, you will be fine - at least you are not as old as me..."  Drink this or take that, it cured me/my brother/my sister/my grandma, etc."  

I am glad I don't have diabetes, or cancer - that is true.  But what I have there is no cure for and no hope for a cure.  It is inevitable, it will eventually kill me because I cannot fight any infections without intervention and if the intervention doesn't work, my body surely won't.  Most people's bodies help the antibiotic, or chemo, or insulin fight the disease.  My body is incapable of helping at all.  Zilch.  So while I am glad I don't have this or that, I sadly think, "but what I do have there is no hope for and no help for".  

The likely hood of me growing old is... well, according to NIH, they don't know WHY I am still alive, so maybe I will surprise everyone and live a long, ripe ol' life, right?  What I am trying to say is, everyone has their own burdens.  Don't diminish them because you may not know (or understand) the entire story, and maybe what you are seeing is "the mask"; the survival mask that we wear to put one foot in front of the other.

My motto is "Keep on Swimmin'!"  I am more bobbling now, but I am definitely not yet belly up.  The fight is real.  Please continue to pray for me.