I asked a stupid question. Maybe two or three... Yes, I ask it each time we chat because I think I might 'miss' something. I am so far away, I want to 'feel connected' - like I belong to the family again...
Why is it that when you not in the midst of things, that people think you are being critical when you ask how things are going - specifics like 'did so and so get a job?" or "did you get your car fixed?" or "how are things going?" or "has so and so found a place to live?" or "what is going on in town?" or "what happened with that?" or "what is going on with buying a ... " or "how is so and so doing in school?
It is the same questions I would ask if we were sitting in the car together - or maybe I wouldn't ask because you would just offer it because we were together. "Oh darn, looks like I won't be moving there - that deal fell though". "Bummer! Don't worry, you will find something..." Yeah, like we were just chatting. But we aren't together, and maybe you forgot to tell me because we talk so little... so... I ask.
Why should those questions make me feel guilty? I am not sitting in your living room so I truly have no idea what is going on in your life unless you share. So, I ask questions...
K... so I won't ask. What shall we converse about now?
1 comment:
so so true....... we are not sitting there 'chatting' and experiencing the body language, the innuendos, the facial expressions .... we are relying on 'distance communication' and it is NOT EASY.
I want to know what is 'happening back home' but then I am seen as interfering if I ask a specific question.
Sometimes people should wear other peoples shoes .... walk in them for a day and then see if they don't change the way they converse, behave, act, feel etc..
Life as an expat is NOT a bed of roses .... we have to enjoy what we have but it does not mean it is perfect all the time.... I wish people would have some more understanding of what it is like to BE AWAY FROM HOME and all that goes with it.
*love you*
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