When I was around 6, my parents came back to grands to pick me up and move to Colorado. I had no idea what Colorado was, but I was excited to be finally going with my parents for 'good'. We moved to Colorado Springs, then to Pueblo, Denver, Canon City, Aurora, Loveland, then to Castle Rock,... yeah, we moved and moved and moved. Sometimes we moved in the night. Sometimes, we moved during the day and some days we moved with people yelling at us.
We finally hit a place called Castle Rock and lived in a little farmhouse. This is the first Christmas I ever remember. We never had Christmas at Grands - probably there was so little money and too many kids! I have only wonderful memories of these gifts and this holiday. We were happy. For a very short while.
When we were in Castle Rock, we lived on a ‘ranch’. We had lots of property with a small house. I had never been happier in my life. There was a pasture and sometimes there were horses in it. The owner (we rented) told me that one of the horse's name was Star. I went out in the mornings to check on the horses - I had always wanted a horse of course (what kid doesn't) so I was infatuated with that horse and was determined to be a cowboy! (I still didn’t realize I was a girl) 😂
One morning I went out and Star had a baby! I was so freaking excited that I RACED in to tell my parents - who did not believe me. I begged for them to go see the baby horse and finally dad came out. He was surprised, and laughed saying I was right - and I was so danged pleased with myself - it was like *I* had the baby! LOL... The owner came and I told her Star had a twinkle - and hence, the baby was named Twinkle.
Then we moved. Again. To a basement in Denver. Dark, scary and the people were not nice at all. Mom and dad argued all the time. Well, they always had, but in Castle Rock I had a big pasture to entertain myself in. Mom was pregnant with another child, and tired. I am sure she was tired of moving, of dad assuring her the money was in the bank, her paying the rent and then finding out the checks had bounced. She had to be distraught, tired and overwhelmed trying to move and re-move - all while carrying a baby.
This is a picture of preggy mom on the farm before we moved to Denver.
One night, we got in the car in Denver at night. I must have fallen asleep and when I woke I was alone in the car, pitch black at night, in a parking lot of a BIG building. I waited and waited. I cried. I cried some more. Finally a man walked past, heard me bawling, and asked me where my parents were. I had no idea. Somehow he found my dad and he told me mom had a baby boy, but he died. He apologized for leaving me in the car, that he was with moma. What about me?!? I swear I bawled for HOURS in that pitch black car!
Moma was distraught. She cried and cried. She had to leave the baby at the hospital - I am sure because dad couldn't pay for anything else. But she was so broken. Dad was relentless. I don't know if he was upset about the baby dying, but he had no sympathy for mom. They fought. More then they had ever fought before and that is saying something, believe me.
One day I got on the phone and called an operator crying. I told her I wanted to go home. She asked where I lived and I told her with my grandma and grandpa. Of course she asked where, and who and whatever else she had to ask and she miraculously got my grandfather on the phone. When he answered, I thanked the operator, then to my grandfather, grands said I said this. "I have a piggy bank with money. I will give you everything in my piggy bank for gas if you come get me." He asked where I was and, bless his heart, he was there the next day to take me 'home'.
That is my grandad on the left. ❤️
I don't know the rest of the story - where mom and dad were or how long they were in Castle Rock - or where they were- after I left. I still wonder about Star and Twinkle.
So I came back to grands place - my anchor spot. Solid. Same house always. No moving for a long time.
(Mom wrote a letter about this time of her life in a letter that I have and recently read. It absolutely breaks my heart. I am so glad that mom and I were best friends and at peace with our past. She needed unconditional love, and with me, she had it. We laughed, we cried, we hugged and we were truly happy until her dying day. She was always sick, but we struggled together through our illnesses.)
Guess what? I was safely at my Grandparents home when my parents came to pick me up again. I was 8. Mom was pregnant again.
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