My Brother Had (Another) Heart Attack :-(

This is my brother Danny.  Most of you have heard of him even if you don't know him.  Today he had his fourth (you read that right) heart attack.  He is 40.

Danny has survived many things.  He was watching the Challenger in Florida when it exploded.  He was in Germany when the wall came down.  He was in the Pentagon on 9-11-2001 where he was a first responder.  And so far, he has survived 4 heart attacks.

Danny is my brother, but you see, to me he is more than a normal brother - he, like the rest of us - survived every bit of the crap we were dealt when we were kids.  We were all abused in many ways - and in all ways.  I don't think there is much we didn't survive.  Our mom loved us, but she was in an abusive relationship and when she got out of it, went to a worse relationship.  Oh I don't have to get into the gory details... there is no book long enough to tell you all the crap we went through - and as I have said before, I have no desire to revisit it.  However, suffice it to say, mom made some bad decisions and we suffered for them for years.  Finally, she came around and saw the light, but we had lost our childhood, our security and our innocence by that time. 

During the times we were going through that mess, we were a team.  All four of us kids were a team fighting for one another.  It was 'them' against 'us'.  We fought against each other occasionally, but mostly for each other.  We protected each other when we could and leaned on each other to get through the tough times.  We were a team.

 

Some (including my husband) did not understand our strength between us.  We had to be cemented at the sides to get through all that we did.  And we were even after we separated.  I had become 'mom' to the kids, not taking over mom's role - heck I was too young to know *how* to do that, but being the protective one, I was the one they turned to when times got tough.  Mom resented that, but she had not yet turned her life around or earned it back yet.  So, when things went right, wrong or indifferent, the kids would call me.  We were a team.  We could conquer anything as long as we could hear each other's voices and the voice on the other end let us know we are/were not alone in this world.

As I said, mom changed and things turned her life around and we did come to call her for all those good and bad times - but that was years later but the protector 'mom' in *me* never left - does it ever if you have protected your brother and sisters for your entire life?  Fast forward a few years.  Remember with our rocky start, I was one of the lucky ones.  I was a survivor and I had a goal.  My goal was to get an education and get out of harms way.  I intended to take my sisters and brother with me, but of course mom would have none of that.  As a punishment, she would not let me see them.

I met and a few months later married my knight in shining armor and with a heavy heart moved far, far away.  Eventually, Liz went to live with my grandma and aunt.  Danny went to live with my dad, and Shari lived with Linda for a while, then came to live with us.  We made it.  Each and every one of us made it - and mom did turn her life around and we all came to love her more than ever before.  She was our mom and we had all come out super strong and solid as rocks despite our rough start.  It all worked out - and we remained in touch.

As I said, I met a super man, who spent years trying to understand what we had gone through.  He stayed through thick and thin and nearly 33 years later, we are still together.  Shari found another 'rock' and they worked through some of the same crap that we did - but we all did it.  However, Liz and Danny have not had it as lucky.  Both have been in and out of relationships, Liz has borne a child and buried her child, and neither have yet found the 'comfy' zone with a significant other in life.  Good solid relationships have not come so easy to them.  I can only hope it turns around - they both 'deserve' that comfort in life.

Now that I have some of that mess out of the way, you can understand the fact that we are a team.  I cannot imagine life without one of my team, heck - we can't go without calling each other for even a few days!  We are not stuck up each other's backside - we truly care about one another as I think all family's should.  We didn't get here the easy way and we are certainly not going to lose touch with one another after all these years of being so much support for one another.

 So this man, Mr twin to Shari...

Mr Our Brother and Big Hero:

Mr Tough Cop:

 

Mr 'Snake Eyes' Trying to Be Serious (not working):

Mr Can't Stop Making Us Laugh:

Had better get well and take care of himself.  

We conquered what most kids wouldn't have. We didn't make excuses, we beat out a path and knocked down the obstacles.  We succeeded in different ways - but we did succeed, we are still here, we are still tight, and we still love each other.  And let no one get between us.  We are a tight team.

Now, I want to go to Silver Dollar City with him and my sisters so we can laugh at all the crap life dealt us and we defied letting it take us down.  And for once, with my siblings, I do not want to sit outside babysitting them while others went in to have fun, but I want to walk into the amusement park with them and be the ones having fun.  Our picnics outside the gates waiting were great, but it is our turn as a family to walk in.

Oh what an great time we can have; healing, loving, laughing and living.  Just the four of us. 

Get well little brother.  

I love you.  

So 

Very
 

Much   :-)