Here is question #5:
What has been some of the happiest moments of your life?
My happiest moments;
1) The day Stephenie was born. After a lifetime of failures, humility, sexual abuse, female surgeries, with only part of one ovary, and multiple Drs wanting to do a hysterectomy - even at 16 - I successfully grew a perfect, beautiful baby.
*
2) The day Jeremy was born. Bright red hair, another perfect baby. Mission accomplished. 2 children.
*
3) An evening in Singapore that Steve told me he was proud of me for always doing what I felt was best, even when he didn’t agree - which was often. Doing for my brother and sisters, for my moma, for my grans and for our kids. So much money that I spent on everyone else when we needed it. He shared that he loved my determination, strength and loyalty and had come to realize that he loved me even more for holding strong to what I felt was best. It was a wonderful feeling to hear someone, especially him, say that.
*
4) I wish I could say our wedding day. I can’t. I was young, abused and looking for a way out. He had protected me and stood up for me, and offered a way out. I married him 2 days after. We never even dated. In fact, I had never even went on one date with anyone in my life… unless one Movie and home was a dare. That was The Marathon Man with Steve. I was not allowed to date and was always caring for my sisters and brother.
It was a long, sometimes lonely haul - but we did it; together and often alone; him working and me raising kids, taking care of grans and taking care of moma. He worked many 100+ hours weeks, but he was always ready to hug me and encourage me when we were together.
I made a lot of decisions in his absence that I look back on and regret, but he was never angry. Frustrated, yes. Angry? No. We survived and he is honestly my best friend. Now are decisions are made together.
*
The saddest?
August 16, 1976 … can’t go there…
*
April 19, 1993: The day my dad died. I spoke with him that morning - and nearly every day for months before his death. I always loved him and always wished he loved himself as much. He was a genius but had no idea how to be one.
*
March 1, 2002: Saydee, (Grands) the most Christian, precious woman I have ever known, died. She taught me morals, how to love unconditionally, how to forgive and that marriage would be the hardest job I would ever have. I treasured the time I had with her and took care of her.
*
Jan 5, 2003: My sister called me hysterical that moma had died. We both just sobbed and sobbed. I had left moma a few months before to go back to Louisiana. Mom had begged me to stay, but I was so exhausted and needed to go home to salvage our marriage, that I told her Liz was taking over, I needed to rest.
Mom had previously died several times with me when she was in the hospitals and every time, I screamed, “Come back, damn it! I need you!” And she DID!
I wasn’t there on Jan 5, I had left her and I have never forgiven myself. If I had been there to scream I needed her… 😢
*
Moma and her pride and joy, Michèl.
June 29, 1986. The day Michél died. It broke my heart. People’s opinions hurt my heart and made those days more difficult than they were, by voicing irrelevant opinions - none would bring her back.. Being the funeral ‘go to’ was heartbreaking; trying to be sure my sister’s wishes were filled, listening to everyone’ opinions, being ‘alone’ doing it while wrapping my own mind around her baby’s death… it was a tough time. I will never forgive myself for not doing what I felt like doing: yelling “Shut the hell up - she is gone! Hug Liz. She is here. We will deal with the rest later!” *I* should have just held Liz and bawled with her. But I did not do any of that. As always, I withdrew.
*
March 5, 2001. A very sad day - and also a double blessing day. The day my nephew passed away and his sisters were born. I was broken hearted for my sister. She, too, lost a baby and I couldn’t hug her. I know her emotions were all over the place.
*
My Uncle Danny’s death: he was truly the father that I never had. He was a wonderful man. I lived with him and Aunt Janie for a while in New Mexico. She taught me to sew, he taught me the love of photography. To the end of my time, I will miss him. Oh! And he truly WAS a rocket scientist! ❤️
*
Distance makes it so hard to be there for ones you love.
Tell us about a day that you felt like everything about your day was perfect.
Honest to God vacations. I love traveling and I love traveling with whomever we are with.
I wish I could think of one perfect day… but one doesn’t come to mind. Perfect moments, yes. A day? Nothing stands out.
