Getting Ready for Christmas 2021!

I am sewing today.  It’ll be a nice relaxing day.  My friend, Sharon, will be joining me.  We will chat and laugh at our goofs sewing.  We both do a lot of ‘frogging’ (rip-it!). (Started this early today, finished it later)

I made 6 bowl buddies, have 12 bowl buddies halfway made (all cut out) and I will work on getting them finished today.  On my Etsy site, Justa Stitchin Stuff, I sold down to my last 3 this past Christmas!  I am getting a head start this year - I hope a big head start.  I need to figure out how many I need in my stash.  

Another thing that I sold very well was my hot pads.  I need to make more of them as well.  Also, you know those Kleenex soft packs?  I made one to put in my truck and dang it works good.  So awhile back I was on Facebook Marketplace and a lady was selling a lot of the fabric I use for $10.  I snatched it right up.  I need to make some of those to sell - they are awesome!  No more squished boxes of tissues in my truck.  Looks pretty every time we need one.

I have been dieting. I started in September, and am down 23 lbs - and that is over the holidays even!  I am rocking it - on Noom.  It is a great program requiring only 10 minutes of (fun) reading.  Very educational and better than that, it is entertaining.  It seems to be working for me.  Yay!  Go me!  I will be one of those people trying to find someone to cut all my lose skin off if I get to my goal of 140 lbs!  Yeah, right... 

Steve took me to mail a package of $80 worth of loot someone bought yesterday.  After that we went to the drug store to get Tegaderm for my medication patch, then on to the fabric store for size 16 machine needles to sew the rest of the bowl buddies, and further into town to go to the grocery store.  I prefer him to drive - it flat wears me out.  It is nice riding with him, we just chat usually.  Today he was listening to my sick truck though.  Tomorrow he will work on it.

Tomorrow I will work on genealogy with my sister, Liz.  Looking forward to it.  I hope to put some of our genealogy on this site soon.

*****
Today was a good day health wise.  I didn't sleep well last night, because my pain patch hadn't kicked in and my measly half of a pain pill did not come close to shutting down the pain.  I got up and 7, drank some chocolate milk (thank you Cheyenne for telling me Nestle's has gone back to original -YUM!) and took some Advil.  I was able to make the bed, shower, sort some mail and vacuum our bedroom and the runway in the living/dining/kitchen.  I rested just enough when Sharon showed up to sew.  I find sewing relaxing as well, so I was able to rock and roll until 2:30 before crashing. Then we went to run errands.  It is nice to be sitting in my recliner typing, but over all today was a 4 on pain (after 3 Advil) and 6 on chronic fatigue.  Going to bed soon.

*****

Here I Am Again...

I miss blogging.  I keep saying that, and I keep stopping because I am boring.  I started going to a counselor and she suggested journaling.  This is my way of journaling... blogging.  I will really try again, but you will have to hear the good, the bad, the chronic and the "old adventures" we have been on.  Normally we are a boring, but a comfortable for us, couple.  I spend my days dog paddling and he spends his days caring for me and drowning from it.  

Today I spent an entire day going to the Dr.  3 Drs, I went to one, went to the next, I waited 1.25 hours in his office room for him, gave up, left, went to another and came back to the one to wait another 1.5 hours.  He is worth the wait, but I am sick and didn't feel like sitting for 5 minutes let alone hours - and then, because it was an all day affair and Steve had other things needing done, I had to drive home.

My truck is driving funny, so I took most of the backroads from Tulsa, crossed the river, and made it just in the nick of time to the pharmacy to get my pain patch I had been out of for 4 days.  1st Dr apologized profusely for not getting it renewed in time.  I hurt.  I need that pain patch.  When they finally got me on a medication to get the lupus under control, and Dr decided to add the pain patch - it was a game changer.  The two together have made my life so much easier!  Praise God!  

Dr #2 & #4 decided that instead of getting IgIV every 28 days he wants me to get it every 21 days.  It takes 7-ish hours to infuse, I have to pre-medicate with lots of antihistamines prior to infusion so I don't have a reaction for it, so I am basically comatose.  If we try to go faster, I have a terrible infusion migraine for a week.  Doing it slower I have "infusion flu" for about 4 days.  If I try to do anything for those 4 days, I get the migraine. 

Dr says he needs to do my infusions every 3 weeks to get my IgG level up to 1100 if possible.  He is increasing to every 21 days to see if it helps me back to back and chronic infections.  His thoughts are if it does help the infections, it is an IgG problem, if not, it is an ICL problem.  One can be fixed with the increase, the other cannot be helped.   We will do this for 6 months.

So, now I get to do this every 3 weeks, lose the next week to "infusion flu" or "infusion migraine" have two good weeks then start it again.  Oh the joys... no, I am not looking forward to it - and I hate that Steve feels like he must go with me because it not only wastes my day but it wastes his as well.  Yes, I know it isn't truly wasting... it does make me feel better.  But if you know me, sitting, laying, sleeping, resting... does not come easy to me.

I still suffer from fatigue.  Severe fatigue.  Some days are better than others, but gosh, I feel like I have run a marathon if I leave the house.  At home, I can sit and rest as needed.  Out... not so much.  Even riding and not going in any place is exhausting.  I will never get past that, but some days are better than others.  When I make sure to walk every day it does help.  With our winter this year, that has been difficult.  We do have a road out front I can walk on, but I prefer to walk around the fence line of our pasture.  Isn't that strange?  I am more private than I ever imagined... food for thought.

Chronic disease is tough.  I don't care what you have.  It sucks.  So many people, like me, have multiple diseases and coping is a real struggle.  That is why I went to a counselor - to help me figure out how to quit drawing into myself when I am struggling so hard.  My sweet hubby probably asks me 50 times a day if I am ok. I am definitely not the person I used to be; energetic, and a go getter.  Now I seem to withdraw into myself to cope... constantly trying to figure out how to fix how I feel today.  

Anyhoo, here I am, today you got the bad.  There will be good.  Today, I just needed to journal my thoughts and frustrations.  There are a lot.  

Tomorrow is another day.  I plan to sew.

Good news!  Rod, Steve's step-dad turned 90 today!  He is an amazing man and listening to his stories is just wonderful.  In 90 years he has seen and done a lot.  Love him forever.  He had just a few cards to open.  We did a card party thanks to Covid.  

Happy Birthday, Rod.  I hope it was wonderful!  

Here is a picture of Steve's mom and Rod that we took last week. 
I sure love them both.  They are a fun couple.  :-)

Enough.

I have had enough.  

I have gotten to the point of why bother?  This is not just about Covid-19, this is about life.  It is just too much pain; political bs, people constantly baiting, taking digs, f’ing off, calling names, making snide innuendos, and always berating others.

It is about twisting thoughts to be hurtful and aiming them back where they started.  It is about making it always look like it is aimed at you when it was never about you at all.  It is about feelers on shirt sleeves and Jr High tricks in an adult suit.

It is about always being one step worse or one step better than the other person.  It is about bringing those ‘up’ down to your level.  It is about beating one down until they are absolutely dead - and beating some more.

It is about a life one never wanted to live and laughing because you like to rub it in.  It is about shock and pain and hate and viciousness and acting all coy about it.  It is about pointing the finger away from you and not seeing the other three pointed directly at you.

It is about weaving a reality where none exists.  It is about living in a fantasy land and expecting others to join.  It is about letting satan win and shoving it down others throat.  

It is about taking those trying to portray them as evil.  It is about calling people you have never met, a name not worthy of a human.

It is about you, and not about me, so why does it hurt so much?  

Why do I care?

Because I see the best in people, I care and I love everyone I know.  Every person has an amazing quality in them.  I look for that.

I care because I  a good person, a human that makes mistakes and I care because I am God’s child.

He does not make junk; not me, not you and not anyone on this earth.  God made us.

So please God, show me the way.  How do I navigate this treacherous path?

How do I get through ‘enough’?  I can’t do it alone, please take my hand.

I have had enough.

It’s Broke!

What is broke you ask?

EVERYTHING!

The upstairs shower

The downstairs shower

The faucet out back

The washer

The dryer

The front door dead bolt 

(ok, it works, but it takes forever to hit it just right)

The faucet in the garage

Steve’s truck!

And the world has Covid-19!

Geeez!  Did I say I am OVER it?!?

I am.  😳

So I am posting a picture of my lovely granddaughter.  What would I do without my crazy family to make me laugh?

This picture was taken of her a couple of years ago and she was not intending to buy this dress at all - she just wanted to try it on.  She had everyone at Goodwill laughing!  She was trying her damnedest to not laugh.  But she was a good sport and had everyone rolling by the time she did her waltz around in her sluzzy dress.  I love my family.  We are all goofy!

I have some great pictures of Jeremy's family as well - will share pics of them soon.  

Thank God for all of them.

Love the world and miss it.  Love MY world and miss it.  Now I want to move away from my broken world!

Day Bazillion Covid-tine

Quite frankly, I am sick of this!  I don’t see an end to it for me.  I see an end for most people, but for me, I just don’t.

Steve and I have sewn 370+ masks.  Doing so is a constant reminder of Covid-19.  It has not been good for me mentally.  The more we sew, the more people beg for more.

I am taking a few mental health days off.  I have 2 baby quilt I want to sew, and I will make one for sure before returning to ‘duty’.

Here is the beginning:

As you can tell, I am not in a good frame of mind.  Depression is a terrible thing to fight.  Add that with a severe immune deficiency and a world pandemic... I am in the hole.  

Deep depression.

Gotta keep on swimmin’.  

Easter 2020

Easter is a time of celebration.  Jesus reminds us He IS alive.  Every year Easter is a new beginning - just like spring is; all the dead is gone and new life surrounds us.  

When I was a kid, my mom would take us to El Reno to celebrate with my grandma Davis and my cousins; and we had LOTS of cousins!  We had the best food (grandma was a wonderful cook and moms learned well), grandpa Leon would fuss as all of us cousins would race between him and his sports games on tv, but we were never scared - just took him in stride - we loved being together and playing.

When I had a family of my own, I made sure we went to church regularly.  My kids didn’t have cousins to entertain them, but they had lots of church friends who would goof around and play with.  They grew up together, hung out and were truly friends.

Our kids have since grown up, live nearby (thank you, Jesus!) and are good through and through despite what others have done to them.  I am proud of each of them and the families they have created.

However, Easter is so different from when I was young; the older cousins hid eggs for the younger cousins - and we were constantly playing, laughing, big gatherings and lots of laughter.

Time and life has strewn us apart; cousins and families live across the country and seldom see each other.  Families don’t gather like they used to - kids would rather ‘game’ or be ‘friends’ with people they have never met.  Family... is distance now... busy filling their lives... with... no sense of being an entire unit.  No time for extended family; close or distant - just a mandatory dinner date and gone.  I miss the ‘olden’ days; I miss when grandparents were cherished, and kids were entertaining and we laughed and cooked together for hours and then played.

And I miss church.  I have been half a dozen times in years; but I always get sick for weeks.  I don’t know how to overcome that.  TV doesn’t replace church family.  

I have a deep faith in a God of love and forgiveness.  I know there is a God.  Look at the flowers; how does a daisy know it is a daisy and a tulip know it is a tulip?  How does a maple tree know it is maple and a magnolia know it is a magnolia?

Who else could have come up with God’s art and nature’s perfection?  Look at our bodies; noses to breathe, eyes to see, hands to help and feet to explore His world!

Today is even tough.  Thirty some days quarantined with no end in sight.  Before Covid-tine I could fill my empty holes with OHCE and a friend.  Today, I spend hours and hours making masks and sinking deeper into depression and reality. 

I miss my family, our little get-togethers and our waves as we pass each other on the road.  Even that brightened my days.  I miss the old life and I miss the pre-Covid life, and I fear the future.

This is me, somewhere in Colorado with my parents - and the pink Cadillac.  Dads.  😂

Happy Easter.

Day 26 Covid-tine

437 masks!  That is all we have been doing!  Yes, Steve has been helping.  We get 50 made, but have 80 ordered!  We get the 80 out and 25 more orders come in!  

We are at a standstill because I have no interfacing and none can be found!  Even Amazon is out.  I do have elastic coming in this weekend - supposedly.  We will see.  

Steve has been working in front of the barn putting water spickets on either side of it and one by the driveway so I can water plants - 3 total.  It has been a lot of work for him.  When he is finished he will have lots of gravel brought in so we can park the camper in the barn easily.  

I can’t seem to upload pictures right now, apparently our internet isn’t fast enough.

Anyhoo, all is well here.  Staying home and staying safe!  Hope you are, too!!