Life Today

This IS my life. 

I don’t brag on it. I don’t dwell on it.

If I do, it is because I need to vent.

I do try to bring awareness to Primary Immunodeficiencies. 

And I try to shut up about it - though sometimes 

I would just like others to try to understand 

or act like it is

an important part of my life

And pretend I am worth the moment.

Some days, it isn’t worth chewing through the restraints.

Those days, my room entertains me.

I listen to music.

I fret about life stuff.

I miss my kids.

I watch the wildlife.

I dream.

Most of the time, 

I am great in my own little world.

Other days, I just need a friend.

My friend moved. The one that cared. 

The rest are… ones that don’t. 

We chat. 

About sewing. 

About the weather. 

About quilt shows. 

No one really cares,

Like a friend cares

I am on an IV antibiotic

Not one message.

Not one call.

Wait. 

My elderly friend did message.

🙂

The rest?

Nope.

But I am fine.

And I would tell you I was

Even if I wasn’t.

Because I know 

it doesn’t even matter

I do miss my friend.

She could see it in my eyes

Hear it in my voice.

She did care.

But she is far, far away.

This *is* my life.

For the rest of my life.

Today, the restraints are tough.

But who cares?

Watching one deflate as the days progress.

It is a struggle.

A stressful one.

                                         A lonely one.

 Tomorrow I pull up my bootstraps 

and plow through again.

Because contrary to popular belief 

*I* do matter

To me.