Friday, June 10, 2022

Family Question 2

Our sister, Shari, has started a family question a week with us sisters and brother.  I will be posting my answers here.


Who are the biggest people influences in your life?  


(Can and should be more than one person, and can be as many as you like)

Who most influenced my life?


           


My grandparents. They were Christian, solidly based, respectful to me and taught me to be respectful to everyone else no matter the circumstances. I was taught when I can’t be nice, that I can’t be rude. They took me to church, taught me to pray and prayed with me at every meal and at bedtime. We read the Bible together daily. Wonderful stories that I still love hearing.  


Grans taught me that I don’t know everyone else’s circumstances and that while other people might show anger, it wasn’t necessarily at me. They taught me forgiveness, because not to (forgive) only destroys me, not with whoever I am angry with. Rarely do I stay angry for more than a few minutes thanks to them. My grandparents gave me and my 4 boy cousins unconditional love and lots of grace as well, I am so thankful I had them to fall back on when my parents couldn’t put a roof over my head and food in my tummy.




My mom and dad. Influenced me to know how I didn’t want to live the rest of my life. Anger, jealousy, hate, smoking, filthy and poor.




John G. Not good influence, but it taught me my children could be hurt in very many ways. It taught me to protect them and things to watch for. However, he did teach me to look at the beauty on our trips through Arkansas and Oklahoma. He taught me a whole lot of ugliness as well, but it all influenced my future.



Moma. She made so many mistakes, but I learned from them, too. She was lied to and deceived by dad, he cheated on her and flaunted it, left her with 4 kids and $50 (total) for child support, in a house that needed a ton of work. She was overwhelmed, suckered by an asshole, tried to go to college, but couldn’t keep up with her schoolwork, us kids, her health, then she broke her back, in a car wreck, when dad ran her off the road and yet with all of that, she was determined to keep us together. Sadly, trusted someone else who was as mentally ill as dad was. Unfortunately, moma was raised with mentally ill people and didn’t have a solid base to grow from.  


At some point she gave up and gave in, but she damned sure tried u til then. Once we were all grown, I healed, we talked, and I understood so much more. I am so glad we became best friends and I was able to move on past the bad times. However, I have to say, those bad times gave me lots of strength for life ahead of me. I miss my daily calls, letter and moma to this day. I especially miss her 12:01am Happy Birthday call and her cards, that had pictures of cut out items in them, of what she would buy us if she had ever had the money to.




Liz, Shari and Danny. I am so close to my brother and sisters and I cherish them.  They taught me the world was worth living in with their sweet smiles, their laughter and their shenanigans. They made me want to be a moma because I loved them so very much.  They made my world twirl as a kid and still do to this day.  



Steve. He barely even knew me, but he found out my circumstances when he heard me screaming and plowed through the door to get me to safety. I sat with him bawling for hours and told him about most of my past. 3 days later, we married - because he was determined I wasn’t going back, and I was determined I would never live with someone I wasn’t married to.  🤣


From that day forward, he protected me, encouraged me and showed me how a family is supposed to function. He believed in me and saw something I never saw in myself. He accepted my family like his own, opened our home to them and encouraged them as well. He retired to care for me when I was diagnosed with ICL, he now administers IV antibiotics for me through my port, stays with me through IgIV, to be there for any reactions I have, and now tends to things I can no longer do at home. 


He absolutely loves me and all my warts just as I love him with all of his.  It was a marriage made in Heaven and a work of heart for us to survive, but we did it. I thank God every day for sending me Steve and everyone else who influenced my decisions. 


I love where we are, but wish I was healthier to fully enjoy retirement.  I want to travel and travel some more!  I love exploring new places.



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