Some Days...

There are some days I just like to remember where life has taken me. Yes, I have been through some pretty tough times, but these times were the toughest I have ever had.

I know they were even tougher on you.

Do you remember this picture? Someone, actually I think Audrey maybe?, found it for me and we had it hanging on the fridge. I remember looking at it sometimes and saying that prayer...


I remember 157 appointments in less than 90 days - and you all were also trying to catch up in school.


I remember all of us waking and going to look at the calendar, bleary eyed, to see where we had to be and when.


I remember Steph having a new baby, and me being too caught up in the insaneness of it all to be much help. Thank you for understanding, Steph.


I remember Jeremy moving to the garage so John could have a room. Thank you, son.


I remember Uncle Steve wondering when it all would settle into some kind of normal. Thank you for being patient, love of my life.


I remember having Peggy help get us to all of our destinations. We could have never done it without you. We never had to depend on THEM and I was determined that would never happen. Thank you Peggy.


I remember my scrapbook friends being the shoulders I cried on. Thanks so much for listing to my blubbering rambles girls.


I remember trip after trip to the court house and knowing the bailiffs - and judges - by name.


I remember how much Judge C loved you all and how much he wanted the best for you. He stuck up for you even when you had no idea he was doing so. Thank you Judge C. Yes, we even got a picture with you, regardless of what that bailiff said... rofl... and thank you for that.


I remember Jessica loving to cook and helping me do that - what a great cook you are, too! And you were the best big sister in the world - always looking after the younger ones and protecting them. I hope that you will always be as close to them as you were before you grew up.

I remember your intenseness, Jaci, when you were so troubled about what was coming; but you made your decision - and stuck to your guns. Wow. If you can stand tall and stubbornly and not back down with a DA - and WIN - you can do anything girl. Set you mind to it and it will come to be.

I remember Megan with your awesome grin and cheerful outlook on everything. No matter how deep it got, Megan had a smile and hug for me - and yes, I know it was a cover up, but I know you have such a bubbly personality you will go far. You became a great cook after Jessi left - I hope you stick to your passion and reach for the stars.

I remember John and his silly antics; being the cut up of the family and seldom serious. Sometimes it got you in trouble, but you always made us laugh. Never loose that sense of laughter and take it with you where ever life takes you. Can you please tell me who Bane is?

I remember belly laughing as we drove through the Oklahoma hills in the dark and the 'indians on those hills' just waiting... I am soooo glad they did not 'find' us :-)


I remember the bedroom - the icky color you girls painted it - and me biting my tongue... lol... Do you think you can come paint that navy trim white again for me please? It didn't grow on me ;-)


I remember each of us in our own struggles and finally coming to terms with life in our own ways.

I remember the intenseness of the situations - but you know? We all made it - and rather well I must say. I for one am much richer for those years with you.


Thinking back, I know how much you changed my life for the better. You truly were a blessing. When you came we were all unsure of the future, but, we figured out the basics and we finally made an awesome 'family'.

When people ask me how many children I have, I pause. I know you are not mine, but you are such a big part of my heart, you feel like mine.

This is one of the few pictures I have with any of you, and as you can see Jessi is missing, but I simply did not get any pictures of "us" as a family. I think it might have gotten lost in the shuffle. Did we not have time?

There were a lot of tough times, but looking back through our pictures, we had some great times. I think the fun times helped make up for the crappy times. Yeah, Aunt eb said crappy - and I think we can all agree, when it was bad it was bad; but when it was good - it was so very good.

There is one thing that can never be taken away from you. Your siblings are a part of you for life. Stay in contact. Remember those moments where you DID make it. Embrace them, grow from them, learn from them, stand up and stay strong for your life ahead - but most importantly, be there for each other always.


You can never take a sister or brother out of the picture without missing a puzzle piece. Don't lose any pieces. If it seems to start to happen, scramble and find all those pieces and put them right where they belong - together as a family. Miles may separate your bodies, but they cannot separate your ties. Pick up the phone. Call 'home' - call each other. Remember, a 'hug' is just a postage stamp, phone call, text message, e-mail, IM or one plane flight away from each other.

I miss you and I love each of you very much. Always know you are forever a part of me.

Yes, through your pictures, you still make me smile...

This is the last picture taken of the four of you together. Find your ways back to each other - we all need an updated one.

I love you forever and for always.