Family Question #7

Stephenie and I:

What did you want to be when you grew up?

I had no aspirations of anything I wanted to do other than be a mother. I guess I never saw into my future. I was extremely naive and sheltered (?) lol so it never occurred to me that I had a life ahead of me to plan for. What can I say? 🤷🏻‍♀️

I took architectural drafting, in tech school, mainly because I was good at it in high school, and Jeanie took pipeline. I knew I hated pipeline, and I always loved creating, and I could create awesome buildings and homes. So architecture it was. I never finished though, because I moved to south Louisiana when Steve graduated and accepted a job 750 miles away in south Louisiana.

Later, I would have loved being a trauma nurse. I handle emergencies well and had a good head on my shoulders. I had too many kids to go after that dream - and God answers unasked prayers, because it likely would have killed me anyway. I believe God watches out for us in ways we don’t understand.

I have always been extremely organized - I think because that is something I can control - in fact, the only thing in life I can control. Some call it OCD, but I call it organized. My mind does not work in chaos. 

Through the years, I worked for 2 companies; as a medical secretary with a nurses home health care, and at Heilig Meyers. I did well at both places. I started and ended at Nurse’s Home Health Care as a medical secretary. 

I started on the sales floor before our local Heilig Meyers even opened.  We assembled all the floor furniture and displayed it. What a fun job the displaying it was!  I had hired on when the building was still empty as a sales person. Little did I know that we had to fill 50,000 sq ft of space with furniture we assembled!  I can still assemble furniture like a champ! Oh, and the only reason I didn’t stay there forever is because the company went bankrupt, 

BUT, I filed theft charges on the manager of the store and walked out. I had documented everything, collected camera info, found no record of purchase - which would have come through me, and turned it in to corporate. He was arrested, trying to claim I stole the furniture. The house full of furniture, that was at his house, with the BBQ pit he stole as well. I left smiling. He wasn’t happy in handcuffs I heard. The store closed permanently 2 days after I left. It was heartbreaking to us that cared and loved working for a great company. 

I started as a salesman selling furniture, and worked my way up within the company. I became warehouse and procurement manager (different times), refusing collections (bleh), assistant manager, and manager’s positions - the latter would have meant moving. Marvin, my boss loved that I could sell the Furniture Guard well - he assured the rest of the staff that I could sell it on a stainless steel dishwasher!  🤣

They repeatedly asked me at both places to become manager, and at Helig, they wanted me to move to corporate to take over procurement. I couldn’t accept because Steve was prime bread winner. It was nice to feel needed in the higher ranks though.

Anyway, when I was young I always wanted to be a mom, probably because I knew nothing else in my life. Taking care of kids. That is what I accomplished. 

          

                     Jeremy and I:

I get frustrated because ‘only’ being a mom is not worthy of any “attaboys”. It annoys me to no end that people look down on us because we didn’t have a ‘degree’ or ‘really’ ‘work’ for a living, but believe me I worked - and I also took some of their kids to sports, scouts, appointments, and school for those working moms - because I wasn’t good enough to have a job. I helped raise kids that weren’t mine to raise as well. 

                                   Us then:  

                                       Us now:

                                   Them then:

                                     

                                 Two of them now:

      

I cherish each of the children I have been blessed with helping; by blood or by circumstances. I love them all. And I didn’t say “no”, or “I work”, or “I don’t have time”, or “I can’t”, or “we don’t have the money.”

I just did. We did. All of us: my hubby, the kiddos and me. WE did, because they are worth it. And I couldn’t have done some of this without my dear friend Peggy helping get children to appointments. Thank you, thank you, God, for Peggy. And thank you, Peggy, for giving all of you to us. ❤️

So, I feel that I earned my way whether the world thinks I did or not. It was deeply rewarding to me - and that is all that matters in the long run. 

This is a funny: I kept laughing and joking that I had 14 children, but Megan kept correcting me saying I only had 11. Well it sure as heck seemed like 14 at one time! Maybe even 20!  🤣

Moma - Remembering the Good Times

A friend posted that her mother had passed away 10 years ago. It brought so many memories back that I didn’t want to overtake her post, but I thought I would share here - remembering our good times.

I had talked to moma most ever day for at least 30 years - even if it was 1 timed minute a day to say “I love you and I miss you so much.”. I carefully saved money to buy her minutes on an AT&T card so she could call me, too. No, we couldn’t afford those calls, but Steve and I paid bills and ate, and we were never without necessities; but I was without guidance, I was young and naive about life. I had been sheltered to the outside world and knew only the world I had left 750 miles away. There is still several hundred minutes on there, because I always renewed them - I wanted her to be able to call if she needed to.

I was only 19 when Steve took the job in south Louisiana. My whole world was left behind, and my husband was working gawd awful long (12-18?) hours every day. I was lonely, just found out I was pregnant, and I was scared and alone most of the time. Yes, I made friends, very dear friends, who I am still friends with to this day, but I had no history with them. My life was back home. I learned to live without them by my side, but mom helped me learn to live without her by my side. And friends healed my pain.

I have mounds of my letters that I sent to moma that she saved. I have her cut outs from newspapers and magazines, cutouts of what she would buy me if she could afford to. They were more precious than if she had actually bought the items.

She would send cutouts of pictures of flowers she thought I would like, because I have always loved flowers, and critters, and nature - yes she sent pics of them too. She shared articles from the local paper that she thought I would like to read - and it was like getting a piece of home back.

I miss her 12:01am call saying Happy Birthday and her mid-afternoon call saying do you know what I was doing (?) years ago? Having you!  

I miss her vacation weather updates telling me what was coming where I was. She was faithful with those updates, watching ‘back then’ tv, carefully, paying attention to where her kids were, and relaying back to me about my vacation weather, and then even the weather my sisters and brother would be in. And she updated me through hurricanes when we had land lines and no cell phones.

Moma loved to sew. She had ‘borrowed’ a new Necchi sewing machine that my grandmother bought when I was born. Grands told her she could only ‘borrow’ it until I was grown, but then it was mine. 

We laughed about her sewing on my machine so much she would wear it out. She sewed clothes for me, for her and for my sisters and brother. She never did wear ‘my’ Necchi out - and yes, I have it. 

Dad died when he was 59, Moma died when she was 62 - 10 years apart. Both died very young. I miss them every day, but moma? I miss moma so very much. I miss her voice and her laughter. I miss her tweety bird fine fluffy hair we kept trying to fix and I miss her hugs into her sunken chest. 

She was adopted, never knew her natural family and one person in her adopted family alienated her from the entire rest of the family. He convinced her that she was never wanted, so she backed away to not invade their space any more. She was told to never come back. It was years after she died that I found out it was one very bitter, hateful man that did that to her. She was so hurt.  

We went through pain that together on the phone, and with hugs, and deep bawls. I had also lost my cousins and grandma in that terrible (one man) war. It was a death I never would have wished on anyone. But it happened because one person was just a bitter, hateful ’brother’ to my mom.

Anyway, all of this to say, my moma was loved unconditionally by me. We had out tough times, but there was much more love. I always needed her, I understood her pain, I was with her enough to see where it came from and I like to think I loved and laughed her through it. I know, without a doubt, that she knew I loved her deeply. 

        

My moma, Karen, with my niece, Michèl. Both gone but never forgotten.

If you are still reading this, and if you have your parents, no matter how much you have been divided, treasure them and nurture them. Don’t just call when you need them. Tell them you love them… because you are gonna miss “this” when they are gone.

South Fork & Million Dollar Highway

 We stayed at Fun Valley, great for kids, but it was very crowded. The east part is beautiful, the west, crowded.

West:

East:

Just pics of the bike ride yesterday.

YES! We got our asses soaked!

We are safely at our next stop: Del Norte, Colorado at a beautiful campground named Woods and River.  

We are on the river. Site pics tomorrow.

Tomorrow: St Elmo Ghost Town on the bikes.

This Morning…

I am settled and ok today. Steve always makes it better. 

And I put my troubles at God’s feet. He can handle me from here.  Off to Durango and back to South Fork today! 

Be back tomorrow! No service in South Fork, remember? 

South Fork to Montrose

I am not sure what happened, but I kinda felt like a third wheel today. We all made plans for our trip today last night; I prepared for them (made picnic lunches), but not until long after we leave we were informed they had decided to go back to Creede and eat lunch. We had gotten to Lake City and would have had to go back - if we had been invited. 

We had been through Creede and they asked if we wanted to shop and I said it didn’t matter (I don’t want to disappoint anyone, so I try to go with the flow). Anyway, they decided to go on to Lake City, we fueled there, then I was told then that they hadn’t brought lunch, and were going back to Creede to eat. Steve and I had planned to separate, and come on to Montrose to spend the night, AFTER we lunch with them.

Well, I was caught totally off guard. We wouldn’t have minded eating out with them, but it was more, “you are here and we are going back there to eat.”  I had no idea they had changed plans - we had eaten breakfast over there, so I was just… I guess, hurt... ? Surely it wasn’t intended to be like that, but it felt like it. Or maybe I am tired. Steve even felt funny about it too, though, and he is usually the one that sets me straight. 

Oh well, it’ll be ok, I am going to just carry on. I know the other two couples are friends forever and been buddies for years, so maybe they just wanted time together. We are the newbies and still feeling our way around.  Moving on…

The other half of the day was ok. I was upset part of it, but after I got over my cry, it got better. We found a picnic table, fed chipmunks, talked and rode on. 

The terrain changes by the curve. I am just going to share pics and go to bed. We are at a wonderful Mexican restaurant this evening, I had a huge daiquiri and lovely evening with Steve. That made it worth it. He has an awful sunburn, so you know how much sun *I* got. Lupus and sun don’t mix well. I need to try to rest. We go the on the “million dollar highway tomorrow!

Here goes the pics!

The lavenders here are HUGE!! Leave them in the dessert and don’t water. They will grow! Lol…

Tomorrow I will wake and it’ll all be ok again.

Taos to South Fork

 Taos to South Fork was an easy trip. We just hung back and enjoyed the ride. Lots of neat sights. These houses looked to be in a spaceship subdivision. 

All were spread far apart and oddly shaped.  

Can you imagine building them? 

Who comes up with these ideas anyway?

There were a bunch of them, but this is all I took.

How would it be living on the side of a rocky cliff?

The rocks! They are amazing to look at!

We saw a beefalo! This is NOT my picture, but the ones we saw were dark brown and shaped like this. Isn’t it strange looking?

Finally our campsite.  We were ready to stop a few days. 

We set it up and I slept for 2 solid hours!

Across the street from us…. It is a very crowded campground, but lots of activities.

We are pre-smoked tri tip that Steve had made previously. Mike and Lee brought chicken chili - so we also had chili Fritos. Great end to the day.

I am thoroughly enjoying the trip, but I wish I felt better. I wish the sun didn’t make me sick and the Sjogren’s didn’t crack my lips, make my nose bleed, make my eyes so dry and my hands crack. I am having fun, but it would be so much nicer if I was well. Oh well, it ain’t gonna rain on my parade.

Later gator!