Baby to Six-ish

The house at 1318 - grands place and my main homestead - aka “safe place”.

I was raised by my grandparents until I was about 8.  My mom was super sick when I was born and my grandparents took me in.  My parents didn't have the money to support me, but they tried off and on during my first 8 years.  My dad had a problem handling money.  If he had a check, he had money, even though there wasn't a dime in the checking account.  He would tell mom he deposited "x" amount, she would pay bills and then find out the money was never there.  We would get booted out of whatever we were living in and sometimes I would go back to grands  It was like mini vacations with my mom and dad.  We lived in 7 places in Colorado over nearly a 2 year period.  The 'vacations' were often hungry, confusing, and unsettling.  There was no consistency or security.  

I remember moving in the middle of the night several times. Once I was left at a friends for a very long time - I don't know how long, but I didn't even know them, though I am sure my parents did.  I slept upstairs with their daughter and heard the wolves howling - I had never heard them before and I was terrified.  Their kids loved Fruit Loops and I learned to hate them.  I just wanted to go home... to my grandparents... somewhere safe.

Mom and dad eventually came back to get me, but we didn't have food or even the bare necessities. We lived on a ranch in Castle Rock and another family lived nearby - I assume who we rented from.  Mom and dad argued over the money problems.  One night I dialed the 0 on the phone (I have no recollection of whose phone - I doubt we had one) and was crying.  I told the operator that I wanted to go home.  She asked a lot of questions and I remember her asking my granddad's name and what town he lived in.  Eventually I heard my granddad's voice and sobbing, I told him I had some pennies in a piggy bank and I would give them ALL to him if he would come get me.  The next day, granddad picked me up in Colorado and brought me 'home' to Okmulgee, Ok.

When I was with them, Grands had me and my four cousins; Roger, John Dee, Phillip and Billy.  We all rotated in and out.  Their parents were about as good as mine, except their dad was an alcoholic.  Sometimes one or two of the boys went to a Methodist Christian ranch near Tahlequah Ok.  We went to visit them and plant trees and Iris, but I was scared that I would get left there.  It never happened, but as confusing as my life was, it was always on my mind that I might end up being left there, too. 

I was super careful to be polite and behave to the best of my ability.  Thinking back the boys that ended up there were the ones that acted out constantly - probably because of their circumstances.  I was the rule follower, always trying to adapt to be what whoever I was living with wanted me to be.  If they liked Fruit Loops, I liked Fruit Loops, if they liked the color blue, it was my favorite.  By the time I was 8, I had no idea who I was - I had adapted to be how THEY wanted me to be - and changed with each THEY.

I was a tomboy, and needless to say, I grew up not afraid of snakes, toads, bugs or frogs.  In fact, mysteriously they ended up in my bed!  😂  I could box with the best ‘em and grew a strong will with 4 ‘brothers’ and stood my ground.  I knocked them out of trees, down flights of stairs and I only learned to do that after being thrown out my second story window onto the awning below.  They never did that again - I kept one up on them.

2 are deceased now, Phil lives in Ohio and John Dee in Texas.  Lives have gone different ways.  I seldom see or hear from them, but I will love them always.  I used to talk to John Dee, but it is awkward.  I was close to his mom and she left them when they were kids.  He remembers the circumstances, though I am not sure accurately, and she swears differently.  Anyway, how can a heart not forgive a mother that tried to make it right. She died not every healing with any of her boys. 

Aunt Connie was like a second mom to me, often making her own stories up, but they were lavish and funny.  Who knows what was real or what was 'invented'.  She was a hoot to be around. She found her true love; an honest to God New York Jew and we loved Uncle Ed as well.  I miss them both - both have left this life and moved on the their next one.  John Dee did become close to and forgive his father, so I guess that was a blessing.  I fear he remembers his father's drunken story instead of the real truth somewhere in the middle of both their stories.

My poor grandmother.  No wonder she was gray in her 30’s!  Granddad was an automotive instructor at Tech and taught during the day, so he got away some.  Grands never drove so she was stuck at home.  With us.  They both were the most patient people in the world.  Grands knew the Bible word for word.  Jeremy would open it and start reading and she would just jump in after a few words and recite it with him - without looking at it!  We were blessed to have our grandparents.  They taught me Christianity, right from wrong,  politeness, to believe in others and to give grace and forgiveness freely.  I would not be who I am without their time and dedication to me during my first few years.  

And I was always sick  Sometimes we would have to walk several miles to the ENT because I always had a sinus infection even then!  However, after seeing the Dr, I always got a 'prescription' for an ice cream cone while my real prescriptions were being filled - then we walked several miles back home.  It was entertaining to say the least.  Getting 5 littles safely several miles then back home safely.  How did she do it?

The next few years coming soon...