"No Cheesecake?"

Before I start today's blog, can you please pick up your cell phone right now and update your ICE (In Case of Emergency) contacts?  If you have several, just list ICE 1 wife, ICE 2 daughter, ICE 3 son.  It will make it easier on those trying to contact your loved ones... believe me, those needing the numbers would appreciate that little bit time you took to do this.  Go ahead, do it right away... 'in a minute' may never come... Do it now - then come back and read my blog... ok? 

We enjoy entertaining informally; having friends and family over and grilling on the weekends is our favorite form of entertaining.  We don't do anything special, just pull out the grill, toss on some food, sit around visiting, laughing and enjoying relaxing.  Unfortunately, since we live in a tiny condo in Singapore, it is  more difficult to do, but we still find room to invite friends over on the weekend.

My hubby's company has another condo unit in our complex for the rotation guys so that the ones working here have a place to stay while working in Singapore.  We often have the crew over, squeezing everyone into our little corner of the world and we cook.  It seems only natural that over time the guys have found favorite dishes they always look forward to - and I cook according to who is coming.  I know that Soup likes the green bean casserole, Kimberly likes chicken and fried potatoes with onions, Dallas likes pickled beets, Bernard seems to like anything, and Davey loved cheesecake.

Once when I went home to the states, Steve messaged the clan as usual and said he was grilling at 7 and asked who wanted to come.  I think that weekend only Soup and Davey were in, and replied they would be here.  Davey was quite a 'ladies man'. He always, always, always, brought something for me; flowers, chocolate, wine (until he figured out I didn't drink it), or candy.  He never came to a meal here that he didn't have something for me.  One time he picked out flowers but was quite embarrassed to find he had gotten silk flowers.  It didn't bother me though - I put them in the living room so I can see them all the time.  From that moment on, when he brought flowers, he would hand me the bouquet and say, "They are real this time".

As I said, that week, Soup and Davey were the only two in and replied they would be there.  When 7pm rolled around, Steve answered their knock and was surprised to find that Davey had bought a big bouquet of flowers for me - of course he had no idea I was in the states.  Steve immediately told Davey that he was sorry he forgot to mention that I wasn't there.  Steve says Davey instantly got the funniest look on his face and said, "No cheesecake?!"  He was honestly disappointed his cheesecake would not be part of the meal that evening.  We still smile when Steve tells the story... Davey loved cheesecake.

Davey was not married.  He had an ex, and had a 9 year old son that he loved deeply.  He was concerned about his son needing a permanent home and went through a heap of obstacles so he could buy his ex a house so that his son would always have a place to live.  Can you imagine an ex doing that?  He finalized all the details a few weeks ago, finally accomplishing the mission he set out on a long ago; purchasing a permanent home for his son.  He was so proud that his son would have a permanent place and he would not have to worry about him.  Steve and Davey had a chat about it on a ride home, and Davey was ecstatic that it was finally over and done with.

Two days ago, Steve came in and quietly told me Davey was no longer with us.  They have no idea what happened, just that he died on the job.  No one was with him so no one really knows the story, and honestly it doesn't even matter.  What matters is that Davey is no longer with us.  Davey was only 43. 

His death reminds me how fragile life is.  We are not promised another moment, just the breath we are taking right now.  One moment you are here, but the next you may be a memory.  Tomorrow may never come. 

Davey Slater

10/04/1966 - 09/20/2010
Rest In Peace 

Davey's death has hit us all hard.  As I type this blog, I pause and look out the window...  I reflect on our lives; we truly are but a speck of dust in a sea of eternity.  The world does not quit twirling because we lost someone special, but that someone special is part of what made our world twirl. 

Good bye, Davey.  We will miss you.  And I hope you always have cheesecake.