I Had a Prowler Tonight on the Patio...

I was in the back room - Steve's 'office', and I hear a noise on the patio. A very definite LARGE movement on my patio. I look down near my feet at my cat who should be the ONLY one on my patio - it's obviously NOT her. She had also heard it and was stalking cautiously to the back door.

Not good. It is not my imagination.

My brother-in-law had come in a few hours before and was exhausted. He went straight to bed. Now those of you that know me, know I am not going to disturb anyone for something that I can handle. I open my back door with a huge weapon in my hand. (Remember my neighbors? I am not taking any chances). The light is just outside the door, so I reach out and flick it on, and clear the door to quickly scope out the source of the noise. Someone is hiding on the patio - I heard them move in the split second from opening the door to turning on the light. My knees buckle, I suck in a HUGE breath of air (I am not screamer), and in a split second I aim and am ready to shoot...





 
... this poor raccoon that had found its way through the cat door and didn't remember how to get back out.


He must have a craving for cat food. 

It is certainly a good thing my hubby taught me not to close my eyes and shoot, but to first check out WHAT I was shooting. Mr Coon would have certainly become my new hat.

He hissed. It was a nasty hiss. We came to an immediate understanding. I don't go near the door - and he wants out - NOW! I calmly close my back door, walk to the front door (yes, ANN, I am thinking of BOTH of my neighbors - thanks for the reminder of the dangers of staying in my house), open the door, scope out the neighborhood, race around the side of the house and open the screen door from the outside. 

In the meantime, the coon has jumped down, started trying to chew holes in the screen door, nicely catching his sharp teeth in the screen. I gently reach over and open the door, he removes his chops from the screen, hisses (of course I am sure it was a thank you) and he scoots out and to the northwest corner of the house, over the fence and into the wild black yonder.

As he does so, I look down into my hand and see the cannon I am holding, look around to see if the cops are chasing me and realize I HAD LOCKED THE BACK DOOR WHEN I CLOSED IT. Now I have to walk, cannon in hand to the front door. I conceal it.

I am sure a cop is going to pass me when I get to the front of my house. Now wouldn't THAT be handy. I might have to call Jeff anyway - after all Steve can't help me and I am not going to call my daughter from a jail cell.

The cop doesn't come and I don't have to wake Jeff. I get safely back in our home, lock the door and look back at Ms Not So Brave cat peering out the back door into the patio. She will never eat outside again - I think she is forever traumatized.

I on the other hand am once again a brave soul.

Jeff is still sleeping in the back and I conquered a coon. Me, myself and my cannon.