30 Years Ago Today...

4 Days Old

30 years ago today, a beautiful young girl came into my life. That young lady made me feel total and complete. I was loved unconditionally, depended on for life, smiled at on a whim - and she took my breath away. I realized God blessed me with this wonderful young person to raise and cherish - and oh, what a responsibility I felt to do it right.

She was absolutely beautiful. She was 9 lbs, 15 oz! A real chunky, dunk considering I was only 87 lbs when I got preggy with her. She had a very, tiny cry - and only when she needed anything did she use it. She was a 'good' baby from the moment she came into our lives. If she was hungry or her diaper was wet she let us know. Otherwise, she was content. Stephenie grew into a loving little girl; very soft hearted and caring.

She rarely did any thing wrong and crocodile tears whelled up when she was corrected. Soft corrections were much better for her than stern ones. She was always worried about others and was always thinking of ways to make others smile.

She carried her teddy bear "beah" with her every place she went. She offered beah to others if they were hurt. She offered beah to me if I was hurt. She was such a loving and giving young lady - and one that has grown into a wonderful adult with a child of her own.

As I look back, I realize I made a lot of mistakes when she was growing up. After all, she was growing up with her mom. Having her so young gave me a huge disadvantage in some ways - but in others I think it helped us. We had picnics in the back yard. We cooked silly pizza's with faces on them. We cut sandwiches with cookie cutters and threw away the crusts. We cooked cookies and cakes for the silliest things We planted a garden and harvested food together. Surely, not many mom's played 'toot toot and go 'round - but I did :-) We built tents using chairs, tables and whatever else we could find to make it stay up - and we slept in them! We played dress up and make up and even used mommy's heels. We took bubble baths with lots of bubbles, cooked supper together for daddy - and we snuggled in hospital beds and colored. 

Sometimes, we even cleaned up after ourselves. We always found time to play - even if I was not a good housekeeper or cook, and even if I was not the best mom around - I always found time to be a kid - with my little girl. 

I have long since forgiven myself for my mistakes. I finally realized I did something right to have such awesome kids. I see them doing some of the same things with their own kids that I did with them. Some things they never forget - even if they think it was their own idea, they probably learned it from someone. It is nice to think sometimes, maybe that someone was me. 

I miss the hugs she used to so generously give, but she will never loose the caring compassion she was born with, her quiet private nature; nor will she ever loose being wise beyond her years. Of course, I still get to see her through a mom's eyes - so there is not much she does wrong. I may be looking through rose colored glasses, but she still makes my world twirl. Somewhere along the way, she grew up. But to me, she will always be my little girl. 

I love seeing the sparkle in her eyes when she looks at her little girl now that she is 'all grown up'. I could not be more proud of my daughter than I am right now

Stephenie, I love that you are old enough to think through what is best for her, and even though I wasn't - I don't regret the time we had. We might not have done it 'right', but we did it and we had fun.

Seal every moment you have with pR in your memory; for she too will grow up. I love you. Happy Birthday.