I went out and found something pretty today - pretty in the midst of the cold brown grass and drizzly day.
I was so much better yesterday - was able to get up and move around. I went and got my hair done, but raced home for lunch with Steve after a little scare. Then I slept. Depression has a way of sapping energy like that. I slept. I watched Dr Phil, then slept some more. I walked Lady around in circles. She slept. Cali slept. We are all so depressed, that is all we do is SLEEP! With Steve working long hours, me not being a shopper bee and not having anything else to do, I sleep - and they sleep.
This apartment stays COLD. Really, really cold. There is a slider door here that feels like it is open all the time. Even with the heavy drapes they have over the door, the frigid air seeps under it and around the edges. Today it is 26 outside and feels like it is 36 inside. The fireplace is burning, but the computer is by the slider. Not like a have a huge selection of places to put it, right? So I don't hardly even get on the computer any more. If I look outside, I can tell it has sleeted or snowed some, and I have no initiation to go outside, though I will have to go walk Lady in a bit. Those heavy curtains? They cover up the light of day too. It is dark in the place which I am sure makes my depression worse. I can't win for loosing!
I went to get my hair done yesterday, remember I said that? Well, like I said, I am not a shopper anyway, but I went to get my hair done - I braved the storm and made myself go out. Here in Tulsa, they have a group of individuals that are going around the parking lots terrorizing people by vandalizing them. They steal purses, hit people hard and knock them down and are general dirt bags. I have never been afraid to go out before, but guess what? Yesterday, I was walking out of the place I was getting my hair done (in the biggest mall in T-town) and lo and behold, there was a hysterical woman stumbling towards me crying. She had been attacked RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE FREAKING DOOR! The more I try to get out, the skeeryer it gets. I just don't have the desire to get out alone, so I stay in, scrap a bit, wash clothes as needed cook and do dishes - and since there is nothing else to do - I sleep.
It is time to go home. I am going to make myself stay here for another couple of weeks - then I am going back to Louisiana to see my 'kids' and finish painting the inside of my house. One year is a long time to be on 'vacation'. It is over for me - so over.
This apartment stays COLD. Really, really cold. There is a slider door here that feels like it is open all the time. Even with the heavy drapes they have over the door, the frigid air seeps under it and around the edges. Today it is 26 outside and feels like it is 36 inside. The fireplace is burning, but the computer is by the slider. Not like a have a huge selection of places to put it, right? So I don't hardly even get on the computer any more. If I look outside, I can tell it has sleeted or snowed some, and I have no initiation to go outside, though I will have to go walk Lady in a bit. Those heavy curtains? They cover up the light of day too. It is dark in the place which I am sure makes my depression worse. I can't win for loosing!
I went to get my hair done yesterday, remember I said that? Well, like I said, I am not a shopper anyway, but I went to get my hair done - I braved the storm and made myself go out. Here in Tulsa, they have a group of individuals that are going around the parking lots terrorizing people by vandalizing them. They steal purses, hit people hard and knock them down and are general dirt bags. I have never been afraid to go out before, but guess what? Yesterday, I was walking out of the place I was getting my hair done (in the biggest mall in T-town) and lo and behold, there was a hysterical woman stumbling towards me crying. She had been attacked RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE FREAKING DOOR! The more I try to get out, the skeeryer it gets. I just don't have the desire to get out alone, so I stay in, scrap a bit, wash clothes as needed cook and do dishes - and since there is nothing else to do - I sleep.
It is time to go home. I am going to make myself stay here for another couple of weeks - then I am going back to Louisiana to see my 'kids' and finish painting the inside of my house. One year is a long time to be on 'vacation'. It is over for me - so over.
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