Can I Just Cry a Minute?

To heck with crying, I am ready to scream... my freaking side hurts so darned bad I cannot sit, lay down or stand.  I am swollen, miserable and ready to bawl.  I am scared, sick of being told it is not serious as the CAT scan/upper/lower GI finds nothing and the blood work is a bit nasty... but... if it were serious, it would be more nasty.

I hurt.  And I am super sick of hurting.  This past week has been exceptionally bad.  It had always been a constant dull ache with occasional bouts of being more uncomfortable than normal.  This last week has been miserably uncomfortable with not even a minute of letting up.  I am good at ignoring... going about my business and ignoring.  I do laundry, go out with friends, shop, go out with hubby... all while I am ignoring my side pain.  But it never, ever, goes away.

Yesterday I rode a bus to Malacca Malaysia and when I got there, I was hurting so bad I could barely eat.  After being off the bus a while, I got better.  By the time I came home I was ravenous, and the pain had slacked off a bit, so I was able to eat a hearty meal.  I laid in bed aching for the next 5 hours, finally got up for a bit, went back to bed, got up again a bit later and spent the better part of this day up and down trying to get comfortable.  I called the new specialist my new Dr referred me to, but he cannot see me until tomorrow morning.  

I couldn't sleep, so I just took it easy, edited pictures when I could, watched tv when I could and did laundry when I could.  I never walked out of the condo.  However, all that resting has given me time to think of all the things it could be (idle time for me is not good - ask any of my family), and made me so mad at the Drs who keep blowing me off that I am ready to slam dunk the next Dr who says "take these meds" without a good solid reason I *am* taking the meds.

I lived 19 years of my life in pain when I was young before I finally caved into the surgery to make it go away.  That pain is nothing compared to this.

It.  Needs.  To.  Be.  Fixed.

So, I am writing to say, please, please, say a prayer that my new Dr has the knowledge to find out what is really wrong quickly and cure it. 

Now for the good news - if they cut my side out, I would feel fantastic!!  The difference the thyroid medicine has made is incredible!  One thing down - now pray for the side to be done.  K?  That is all I am asking today.

Please say prayers of thanksgiving too for thyroid meds and the Dr that diagnosed it.   She needs many, many blessings  :-)

If all goes well, Malacca pictures tomorrow  :-)