Ouch. That Hurt.

Right now, I am at my step-dad's funeral. I set this up to post just as I went in for reasons you shall read about in the next few paragraphs. Please say a few prayers for us during the course of the rest of the day, I am sure we could use them.

Yesterday, I went down for my step-dad's viewing, more for duty than seeing him. We saw him before he died way more than his own kids did, we were with him for 2 hours in the house while family and friends came to see him after he passed away, and he knew we loved him.

My sister, who was his primary caregiver, said all of his belongings are divided up and given to his kids. She wanted his belongings out of the house as quickly as possible as they were difficult for her to look at. Everything happened peacefully and quietly and with no arguing - thank God.

After viewing his body yesterday (a custom in the USA), I sat in the pew to watch the pictures on the slide show play; remembering, seeing pics I had never seen, enjoying 'reliving' his life through pictures.... of his children, of his grandchildren on the first wife's side, of his ex-wife before he met mom, his parents, of Liz, of 2 of her children - but not one single picture of my mom, my siblings (other than Liz), not one single picture of any of the grandkids on our side of the family (except Liz's girls that lived with him). Liz has 5, Danny has 4, Shari has 3 and I have 2 - and not even one picture of his great grandchildren on our side.  We have one nice family photo of all of us siblings together with him and two of the grandkids, Megan and Christian... is it in there? Nope. Not one stinking picture. Steph was even called in a mad rush to ask for a picture of Megan for the slide show. She was not asked for a picture of her or her family... but for a picture of Megan... Talk about a slap in the face. That is not supposed to hurt?

There are several dozen pictures of his entire family on his 1st wife's side; complete with kids, grand kids, great grand kids, his siblings and cousins...

Not one of us or us/ours.

Our part of the family stands exactly where I thought we did.

I understand the slide show is done during grief and pictures are randomly found and used. However, I had come home, gone through hundreds of pictures and given a thumb drive with a dozen or so of our side of the family to pick and chose which ones to use (mom and dad's wedding picture was included) and offered to find a few more if needed. 

Not needed apparently. Not even any of those dozen. And not one of moma and David. However, I did make a quiet statement about it not being there and later I was told it was added.

The funeral is today. I will get through it with my family; my daughter (his grand-daughter) and son-in-law, granddaughter (his great-granddaughter) and my hubby. My son will be there 'from a distance' and quite frankly probably the best place to be. This was the only grandfather our kids remember. Together, whether we are remembered in his life story or not, we were part of his life. 

If I have received a private message from you, I will answer. I am not handling this well I guess and I am numb. Responses are not even possible right now, but I will get there. Thank you for your love, prayers and understanding. Please continue to send them our way. I loved the Bible reading shared with me. Thank you so much.

I was right to stand off and watch from a distance. Obviously, we were right where we belonged.

And though it seems like our family never touched his life, I know in my heart we all did - each and every one of us.  And that is what really matters.