There is one thing living out in the country gives you - plenty of thinking time. Time to think of the mistakes you have made in life (many), time to wish you could go back and have a do-over, time to think of friends you have hurt along the way, time to wonder if they knew how it looked so different to you then. Time to think of the fun times you have had over the years, the games you have played, the travels you have made, the countries you want to visit, the landmarks you want to stand in right where 'they' stood when 'it' happened, time to realize how much you have grown over the years and what has brought you to that thought. There is time to think of what you want to do, how little time you have left to do those things, time to wish upon a star, time to reach for the stars and time to think the people who have changed your life... which is where I am now...
I recently came across a picture of a good friend of ours when we first got married. Theresa was all that and more - and I needed her as much as she needed us. Looking back on that time, I think of the good times we had, the funny things we did and the things we did to protect ourselves and the girls. I think of how much we shared, how 'brave' we were and how much water went under that bridge. I still love her and think of her often. I have to see her again for another hug and to share a closeness that only a few ever know. We went to garage sales out of need and our girls thought they were sisters. We had a serious friendship for many reasons, but I knew I could count on her honesty and friendship and she could call at any hour and all I felt was concern and love for my 'sister'. We went through more in those few years than most go through in a lifetime. I still think of her as someone who knows my heart and soul. I love you girl!
Dee came along about the same time, but we didn't get close until years later when I was selling Avon. Didn't everyone sell Avon at one time or another? I think of Dee with huge smiles - Dee is such a carefree gal with a crazy hubby. We laughed until our sides hurt every time we were together. The remember whens can go on and on forever. We hit garage sales when those stupid signs jumped out in front of my car, we found parts of Houma no one should ever find and we laughed when we did. We have talked long into the night and well into the next day and still laughed at the end of the call. I bought rice, Dee bought beans and we split them to make the ends meet. Dee and I would lose touch with each other for years, but when we called the other, we picked up right where we left off - in the middle of the giggle we hung up on years before. Dee knows things about me I don't even know! I love ya, girl!
Edith is a motherly friend. She taught me how to shop the sales, raise the kids and buy 'quality' and quantity on sales. She taught me what Mexican food was really like, how to cook some great meals and yes, we went to garage sales too. Edith loves shopping and may be one reason I have come to hate shopping... lol... she could hit stores by the dozens in a day and convince me why I needed to buy stuff I have yet to use. Edith tried to teach me responsibility, and I am sad to say I still don't get it. Not like she wanted me to, but boy did I learn money wise strategies from her! I still use most of them today. I love you, Edith!
Sara was a neighbor first then a friend... oh wait... Theresa, Dee, Sara... yeah, I think there is a common thing there - we were all neighbors first! Anyway, Sara was a neighbor first and a friend to the end. Our husbands worked in the oilfield and both were gone 95% of the time. We fixed stuff together out of necessity and our husbands fixed for each other when the other was gone. Her kids were a bit older, but she had the girl first, boy second like we did and could relate to what I was going through. We loved eating light lunches together at our tables and drinking coffee/tea while solving the worlds problems. We played cards, learned to sew intricate things together and made gifts and crafts for holidays. On the rare occasions the guys were home at the same time, we played games - lots of them! We had wild Italian arguments and laughed when they were over - and it was mostly about the trivia and music who dunnits. Oh those were the good times! I love you, but most of all I miss you Sara. :-(
Kristine is a friend that taught me about faith; in God, in people and in life. She never thinks the worst about anyone, always looks at them with an open mind and heart. She has hope and optimism in people that I have never seen in anyone else to this day. She doesn't judge, has a pure heart and a total faith in God that I admire. She would never hurt a fly, has a gentleness about her that made you want to be like her and a genuine compassion I could only dream about. She is quiet, reserved and I seldom knew what was on her mind, but if it wasn't good, she didn't say it. Who wouldn't want to be like that? Our families camped together, planned vacations together and had many wonderful trips, with lots of laughter and fun times trying to understand our boys. I love her innocence, her optimism, her faith and her gentleness. Her quietness was always hard to read, but I wish I had learned how to do it better. I love everything that Kristine is and everything she taught me. I love you Kristine.
Peggy and I have known each other since the beginning of time - sorry to say that Peggy, but it seems like you have been a part of my life forever and that is a very good thing! Peggy has helped whittle through the Girl Scout cookie crap (and there has been some crap), punching numbers to make the totals come out right. She has stood beside me in band concessions and sweat with the best of us. She has held my hand when I cried from lack of comprehension and she went to court with me and held me up when it seemed I couldn't be held up any more. She knows the inside of the courthouse very well thanks to me - and no, it wasn't anything *I* did wrong, it was everything I did right. She has been with me when times got so tough I thought about checking out, but she got me through it and was still beside me when the sun came out again. Peggy is still the glue that holds me together when I come unraveled. She has never judged me or mine; just been there to offer sheer support when I couldn't seem to find it. I love you Peggy.
Lately, it has been my daughter. Who ever thought a daughter could become a good friend? When we finally got through the 'parent/child' part of growing up we found the friendship. Steph would have something nasty that needed done and we did it together. I would have something difficult to do, and she would come over and tackle it with me. She researched everything and we knew the best way to do whatever it was in our way - and we tackled it. Together. We have sewed diapers, dresses, painted walls, drew intricate designs on them, and painted some more. We have fished together, camped together, taken turns rocking punkin' when she was sick and taken 'class' trips together. All of this because we lived near each other... but now we don't. I miss you girl - and I love you.
All of this to say that over the years, I have been blessed with many friends that have been with me through thick and thin. They have each taught me different things about life, made my life better, laughed and cried with me through years and been there to catch me when I fell. We have sewed, laughed, shared, learned, read, camped, traveled cross country, shared grief, remodeled, and made money ends meet.
I could go on and on. There have been many over the years; each leaving a heart string and most moving on - but what they taught me has made me who I am today.
Today, I am tearing wall paper down off the bedroom wall - it is hideous stars and stripes wall paper. While I was standing there tearing it I was listening to music trying to make the time go by. I started thinking about how I used to make the time go by - and it was with friends. We tore the paper down together, laughed about how hideous it was and cussed when the times got tough. We ate lunch together when we couldn't handle the wall paper any more then we went back and tackled it again. We got 'er done! But we got 'er done with laughter and cussing.... good ol' friendships that are always there when the times get tough and the tough gets done.
Today I miss you Teresa, Dee, Sara, Peggy and Kristine. I wish you could be here, for years I have depended on that phone call when I am in distress. I am not in distress, but I sure do miss those phone calls. And of course the lunches and chats...
And Steph, I miss you like you would never believe because I have found a 'forever' friend. Can I beg you to move to Oklahoma, please? Arkansas is beautiful, but I want you near us; I need you to teach me how to fish, I want to picnic, clean the home school room, go camping together, I want the guys to share the tractor pieces and parts and I want us to garden together. I want to learn to can together, farm together, raise critters together and sew together. We cannot do that several hundred miles away from each other - but we can go to Arkansas for holiday in half a day, does that count? Oh, please don't think I want you living in my back yard - space is good. But is 20-40 miles better? Claremore, Owasso... you know, somewhere near? Look at Tahlequah! It is as gorgeous as Arkansas and has a much cooler name - it's in the foothills and the Illinois River runs through it. Oh my gosh, rafting at its best! I need you here.
While I was standing here tearing down the wall paper, I was thinking, where are my friends... oh I moved away from them *sniff!*... then where is Steph when I need her? I sure do miss being together doing this kind of stuff - and not because I am doing it alone either - because we talk and laugh while we are doing it - time flies by! I miss being with you because I can't believe how much I have come to depend on you every single day. And you are too far away. And so are my friends.
And I need you to help me tear down wall paper and paint. And be near when I grow old.
Did I say I love you?
All of you.
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