Do you ever feel like you are missing something very important - like part of the big picture? Do you ever look at something and feel like you just want to back out and see 'the rest of the story'?
I have been planning our trips - three huge trips rolled up into one. We are going to Hawaii (Oahu and Hawaii - the big island) and then flying onto San Francisco to pick up our son and his family, and going on to Anaheim to go to Disneyland.
Try as I might, I feel like I am missing something very important. I have sectioned each part of the trip down and methodically worked through it; getting hotels/lodging, rental cars, island hops, and tours lined up. I have bought tickets for Disneyland, trinkets, got the lodging, autograph books, trading pins and rented a car for that trip. I have faithfully kept it all in one place within easy reach and kept a detailed calendar of confirmation numbers. No matter how meticulous I have been I have still felt like I am missing some elusive piece of the puzzle. So I search.
Of course I still have a ton to do, but it is finally coming together - and rightly so, we have a mere two weeks before we leave! Searching through the piles of paper - I still feel like there is something not there...
While making a list and checking it twice, subconsciously, I realized I felt a sense of... sadness surrounding me. What?! I should not be sad! This is a trip of a lifetime! Hawaii is on my bucket list from when I was 16! We will get to see our guys - and man, it is has been MUCH too long since we have seen them - so why the sadness?
Finally today, it hit me: We are not going home! Sure we are going to have a wonderful time - but we are still not going home. :-( Worse than that - by the time we finally make it back 'home' it will be nearly a year from the last time. Reality sets in here.
Nearly.
One.
Freaking.
Year!
Is that the part of the big picture?
Today, Steph sent me a video of her - from a far, far distance, I can barely see my 'little' girl. I started bawling - not because it was sad, but because I didn't realize how much I missed her. Heck, who am I kidding? I did realize it - the video just sent that message reeling home. I should not be sad - I should be elated that I get to see her! But like a baby, I am bawling while watching Steph in the wee background, trying to catch a glimpse of her mannerisms... her face, her... heck... just her!
And so, I finally realized that it is not the trip that I am missing something in - it is the destination; oh not the places we are going and those we will see, but the final visit. Usually, our wonderful trips back to the states end with the inevitable trip 'home'. *insert sigh here* Happy times with whoever we are going to visit, whatever we are going to see - followed by a trip home; a sit in our recliners, watching our very own tv, cooking with my very own kitchen tools and last but not least, grilling, boiling and laughing with friends and family. Not only are we not going home, we are don't even HAVE a home there now... (I did say there everyone, don't get your feathers all ruffled up ;-)
Ok, so now that I have figured out what the missing part is, I think I have it covered. I think.
Boy this trip has sure been an event to plan! I have had to do it in four stages; (1) Oahu, (2) the big island, (3) San Francisco and finally (4) Disneyland. Whew! I can feel the tired setting in now. I have high hopes we can still enjoy it even through the exhaustion.
So finally, even though I feel like I am missing something in the overall big picture (home, girls, recitals, birthday parties, get togethers), at least I know that I am probably doing ok on the actual trip. I will figure out how to live on the not going home part... lol... wish me luck on that one!
But, we do have one great thing to look forward to:
I guess now that I figured it out, you can see more :-)
Seeing our wonderful kids and grandkids! WHOOT!
So that, my friends, will help complete the big picture :-)
No comments:
Post a Comment