Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Just Because...

Because he was once tiny:

 Because he is so darned cute...

Because every moment is precious:

Because he is growing up so fast...

Because he takes our breath away...

Because he has a piece of our hearts...

Because he makes us smile...

Because we miss him..

Because of all of those things and many, many more

I am going to fly to San Francisco, pick him up and bring him back to Oklahoma

All in the same day

And he will visit with us for two weeks

And I will return him the same way

But we will all be different

We will be forever changed

And granny and papa will know their little guy

So much better

And we need to

Because we love him...

Thursday, July 26, 2012

I KNEW My Foot Hurt... But...

I DIDN'T know I had broken a bone in it!

Finally, after 3 weeks of fighting a swollen, hurting foot, that hurt every stinking time I walked on it, I gave in and went to the Dr.  I was toughing it out like I always try to do.  It bit me on the backside.  Again.  

The Dr x-rayed it and walked in to tell me he had found the source of my pain - a broken bone!  So, I am now in a boot cast to allow the bone to be stable enough to heal.  He suggested (!) that me walking on it might have impended the healing process because the bone would separate every time I walked.

Imagine that!  Lol...

Man, I love being tough!

You would think I knew how I broke it, right?

Not!  I have not one iota of a clue how I did it.

But now I can kick back and let someone else do my work!

Oh wait.  I don't have anyone else to do my work.  

What a pipe dream!

Oh well, now I know - and so do you.

Back to work.

 Even the broken must work.

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

And Yet Another...

5 gallons of tomatoes to roast and can.  And a gallon of peppers to process.  At least I know we can eat if we cannot do anything else!

I won't be posting any more than that today.  I will spend the rest of the day in the kitchen.

Canning.  Tomatoes.  And chopping peppers.  And chopping squash.

LOTS of tomatoes. 

I see a lot of red lately.

What was I thinking?

I think I will fire roast them before canning them.

Wish you could help?  Believe me, I do too!

Tuesday, July 24, 2012


I picked the first watermelon from our garden.  It is HUGE - and HEAVY!  Can't wait to cut it... I hope it is yummy.  Watermelon is my favorite fruit!  And there are more where that came from.  Wish I could share with you - punkin' said I am going to get sick of cantaloupe and watermelon.  We shall see!

And that is all for today.

Just peeked in to say hi.

Monday, July 23, 2012

Our garden...

Is producing by leaps and bounds!


Let me tell you what I have been doing lately...

I have picked tomatoes... LOTS of tomatoes...

Fire roasted them:

Peeled them:

Made salsa, home-made lasagna sauce and stewed tomatoes with them:

I picked peppers and pickled and canned them:

I have picked apples and made apple sauce and jelly:

Bought peaches and canned them:

I have picked okra, more mators and cucumbers... canned or froze them:

And I have shelves of veggies to show for all of our work!   Of course Steve helped me - I could not do it without him jumping in and helping me finish at the end of the day.  Isn't it pretty?

So, as you can see, I have been tending to the garden; a garden that is giving us bushels and bushels of produce!  And canning.  And freezing.  And storing.  And rearranging.  And I am bushed.

And the depression has returned with a vengeance. 

I don't understand it.  I am keeping busy, I love where I am right now and I am happy.

Why the depression?

Why does it keep returning?

I want it to GO AWAY!

Of course, all the garbage that has happened over the last month contributes to it...

Why oh why?

And so...

As the world twirls... 

I want Calgon to take me away!

But please keep my fruit and veggies!

They make me smile.

Saturday, July 7, 2012

And So It Goes...

I have had a rough 3 weeks, heck, it may even be a month now!  

Enough said.

Now I have a dog that we found wandering north of hwy 412 on hwy 88 near Inola.

If you want a dog she is yours.

She LOVEs kids, is very smart, appears to be part bluetick coonhound and LOVES kids.  Did I say that?  She turns belly up and wags for a pet when a kid gets around her.  She has to be the friendliest dog EVER.  I think she has been trained for hunting; she chases possums and coons up trees - does that count?  She smells every trail around and follows it to whatever it is; then alerts!  And then she is just so stinkin' proud of herself... lol... Just sayin'...

Yes, I have put out fliers, called shelters and vets, knocked on doors, had her scanned

 and every freaking thing else you can think of.  I cannot keep her, but I want her to have a good home.  Let me know if you are interested.

And so it goes.  I am off to check myself into a bawling shelter.  Gotta nurse my wounds and take a breath - see if I can get back on my feet again.

Stay tuned.

Thursday, July 5, 2012

4th of July

Just sharing some pics I took of the 4th of July fireworks in Claremore today...

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Making Me Smile

It doesn't take much to make me smile.  I was feeling so down about things going on, I went out looking for a smile.  I didn't find just one - I found a flower bed full of 'em!

God gives us such great gifts, doesn't He?

And one last one before I sign off... 

Even when I am sad and down, I can look around and find things that warm my heart.

It is nice to know I can do that.  It makes me smile.

Monday, July 2, 2012

New Normals

It seems like every little bit, there is always a new change in our lives to get used to.  I thought when we got to be at this stage in our lives, we would have a 'normal' that stuck with us with very few changes.  Apparently, that is a stage in our lives we will never see again.  

Our move to Oklahoma has been a good one for the most part.  We have been able to see family that wants to see us, been able to take a weekend trip to visit with family and we love our little corner of the world.  We moved here with several intentions; one to get back to our home state, a place that we love and remember fondly.  Secondly, most of our family lives in Oklahoma, so our intention was to be near family so we could rely on each other when times get tough, encourage each other when we need a shoulder to lean on, be near each other in case of emergency and get together for holidays and celebrations.  I thought we would actually be able to get together more as an extended family, but that doesn't seem to be convenient for everyone and I am trying to understand - everyone has their 'important' in life and so it goes...

Megan moved in with us last winter, and this week she decided to move in with her mom. Instead of all working together as a family (my sister, her sister, us and Megan), she left for a 'visit' with her mom and came back to move out.  Just like that, with no warning.  My family had a lot to do with the decision, of that I am sure.  I did not have a call from my sister asking how we could all work together to get it worked out, in fact, I have not had a call from my sister about the situation at all... nor did I have a call from Megan letting me know how she felt.  Just 'click' and 'I am outta here'.  Amazing how family works (together) or not, isn't  it?

I am a parent; I try guiding kids into adult life; teaching them to make good decisions and living in a grown up world.  Steve and I have done our best with all the kids we have had in our lives, but as all parents do, we make mistakes and want so much for our 'kids' to grow into happy, successful adults that we sometimes come across too strong.  We praise for things they do right (and Megan HAS done a lot right) and guide them when they need guided.  That is the case with Megan, and since Megan has never really known any real 'parental' guidance; when I was trying to teach her responsibility, she took it as 'talking to her like a 5 year old' and decided the grass was greener on the other side of that fence... and so she moved in with her mom - or wherever she moved - of course, we were not privy to that information.

Without even trying to talk to us about what was going through her mind or how she felt, without even trying to work through our problems; She walked in, dropped the keys to my car (which she had free reign of), and with my sister's car and her sister's encouragement, she told me she had come to get her things and was moving out...  *just like that!*  She carted her boxes upstairs, loaded them and walked out of our lives.  She hugged me only because I was there and she was not going to bother to hug the man she called 'dad'.  He was in the back yard and when I told her she owed him a hug and a good-bye, she dutifully gave it - and then walked away - right past our grand-daughter and out of our lives without a backward glance.  And that is how it ended.  I am still shaking my head - I cannot believe she even took part in that - much less DID it.  That is how all problems are solved, right?  Walk away from them and don't worry that you wrenched a heart or two out.

Hurt by so many parties?  That doesn't even begin to cover it...

I have to wonder one thing - when Steve and I reach out our hands to help those we love and ask nothing in return - how to do we get to be the 'bad guys' and others get to shine in the glowing light like rescuing knights in shining armor?  How exactly does that happen?  Once again, my heart is tearing, my stomach in knots, tears on the verge of happening, my world has once again flipped - but mostly I have a broken heart.  Our family will never cease to amaze me.  I will never learn, and I will always love.  I don't think I am a bad person, I do think I am a loving person, I do think we are fair and I do think we tried.  And I am sure I made mistakes.  But we tried.  That is all we can do, right?  

As it has always been the case before and it will be again; I/we will be ok and I/we will heal in time.

And today, I am learning a new normal - again.  

Please say a prayer for Megan and everyone who loves her.  The pastures may be greener in other places, but grass tends to cover the rough terrain.

And Megan?  Thank you (again) for all the smiles you brought to us and all that you did.  We love you.  Good luck in your new adventure!  May all the best be yours.

Singapore Memory Project