Underground Railroad Quilt

Have you ever of the underground railroad?

Have you ever heard of the underground railroad codes? 

We guess who is working on an underground railroad quilt sampler?

Me!

I have actually finished 3 quilt blocks, thanks to my friend Sharon!  I am still new to quilting but Sharon is a pro.  We decided doing the quilt together would be fun - she got material for hers and I got material for mine.  I wish I could say it was just that easy, but finding civil war like fabric is no easy feat - especially if you want it all to look good when the quilt goes together.

I am finding most of the fun of quilting is looking high and low, far and wide in quilt shops for the perfect piece of material to go with your project.  I think if I had the money, I could easily make this a nation wide shopping trip!  That is a big statement coming from this gal that despises shopping.  Lol...

Anyway, we finally got all of our material for the quilt and cut the material.  Last week, we started our trek.  Since I am so new to it I figure I need her assistance.  She and I live 20 miles away from each other so it takes planning to get together, but we have managed 3 days and accomplished making 3 blocks:

I am learning a lot.  And I know several things: (1) I know that block number 1 does not appear to go with blocks 2 and 3.  (2)  I know the blocks are not perfect, but I am still pretty darned proud of them!  And (3) I also know, when we put all these blocks together, all the colors will work out and I am counting on it looking beautiful! 

This is what the quilt is supposed to ultimately look like:

Do you think I can do it?

We are gonna see...

Today is the big day - I have been hobbling along on this shoe for my broken foot.  I get to see if it comes off today!  Can you hold your breath for me?  This has sure been a pain in the backside - it is not comfortable to walk on, leaves blisters on my feet and I am ready to move on. 

We have an adventure coming up and I need to be fit and ready for.  What?  Not gonna say yet - still want to be sure it all pans out... but I will let you know when we work the kinks out...

Finally, our daughter, son-in-law and grand-daughter made it through Hurricane Isaac just fine.  They had a lot of wind, a lot of rain but fared well.  They have a few limbs down and will start clean-up today.  I will be thinking of and praying for all those out there still dealing with Isaac's fury.

Off to get this foot checked out.

Then back to sew!  Wish my quilting buddies were here to share the joy.   :-)

Makes My Heart Smile

 Granny Bon teaching Aedan to use a sling shot:

Papa and Aedan having a water gun fight:

Aedan making apple straws (he was really peeling an apple):

Aedan eating what he called 'apple straws':

Papa Rod, Aedan and Granny Bon hanging out on the swing:

Aedan eating a 'granny taco' - and he said I needed to teach his dad to make it!

Aedan's angry bird mask:

Papa and Aedan playing Kerplunk!

My Turning Twenty quilt top - finished!

I am smiling today!  It is nearly the weekend and my sweet hubby and I get to be together for two whole days.

And I am feeling ok again.

Depression, Disappointment and Resignation

I have come to the realization that depression is going to be a part of my life for the rest of my life.  I have no idea what brings it on, what causes it to hang on or why I cannot shake it, but it is here to stay.  It will come and go, but it is a part of me.

I have also come to the realization that disappointment is going to be a part of my life.  Things won't always go the way my mind wishes they would go; people don't have the same preconceived ideas of the things I do, they rarely do what they say they will and they aren't who I think they are.

What brings all of this up?  Well, of course the depression has set in again with a vengeance.  It doesn't mean I am not happy because I am. It just means that this stinking black cloud that is hanging over me will not leave. The weather has changed, the cool nights have set in and the sun is shining that low glow that means fall in on the way.  But no matter how hard I try to make myself stay busy and be outside, my thoughts always bring me back to what may really be troubling me...

It is not the views of the Oklahoma landscapes:

Or the loneliness one feels with depression:
 

What really gets to me is that my preconceived ideas of what our family would be doing up here.  I thought that being in Oklahoma with the family I grew up with would bring grandiose times of bbq's, get togethers and lots of craft and crop time.  I thought we would meet up in Tulsa for some garage sale time, chats over burgers, fishing, and a wee bit of shopping time - not buying, just hanging out and browsing, and going to scrapbook stores to scrap a few hours here and there.  I thought we would laugh while visiting hidden places in Oklahoma, share our skills at taking pictures and have quiet walks in the parks while enjoying the weather...

Boy was I wrong. 

I have been up here for a year now, and we have had only a handful of visits from our very nearby loved ones.  It is too far out in the boondocks I guess to make the effort to come here.  I went and picked up our little Aedan a few weeks ago and he was here for nearly two weeks.  We got one... ONE... 30 minute rushed visit from my sister and step-dad, and that is because they had to bring a birthday gift to him because my foot was broken and I could not drive to them.  Now I am talking about MY Oklahoma family.  Steve's mom and step dad came out (3+ hour drive one way) and spent a day or the weekend with us - and they have done this several times.  Steph and Todd have come here repeatedly from south Louisiana - and Shari and John have done the same from Alabama!

But my family, who lives just over an hour away never has the time to come to our place or meet in the big city.  They can go to Tulsa 4 times a week, but the extra 30 minute drive to our place... heck, even to call and ask if we can meet in Tulsa for lunch... well, there is no gas, no money, no time, not a good day, must race back for whatever, and honestly - no desire.

Yesterday I drove into Tulsa because my step-dad was having cataract surgery and as an afterthought, I was invited to join them.  I have no idea why they asked or why I did, but I went to sit with them while he had the surgery done.  My sister was tending to my step-dad's needs.  My niece ignored me.  She didn't say squat to me.  I honestly felt unwelcome there and if I had said anything, I was sure I would be spat down in my place.  I have no idea why she was being so rude; why she was glaring at me, why she was ignoring me - but she was.  And she was totally and very obviously engrossed in her cell phone - no time to look up and even say hi.  Not once did she actually acknowledge my very existence. 

And when dad went to the back my sister and I were visiting, she said after dad finished that they would have to stop by and get something to eat.  A big to-do was made of where did I want to go?  What sounded good?  And I did not want to say that I could not really afford to go out - but I would have because it would have been just a few more minutes with my sister and the family.  A few minutes to try to break the ice and visit.

But after it was all said and done, it didn't matter anyway - because suddenly she remembered she didn't have any cash, and she couldn't really afford to stop by anywhere and they needed to just head on home.  Love you.  Good bye.
 

And so I got back in my truck and drove the 30 minutes back to our place to eat my lunch at 2:30pm.  On the way, I called my sister to be sure dad was still doing ok, and she said he was - he had just finished eating a chicken sandwich from Wendy's.

And it was then I realized that no matter what I did or how I reconciled it, my family has better things to do with more important people than I and it will always be that way.  It is with deep regret and disappointment that I have come to this conclusion - that no matter what I am told it is actually the actions that speak louder than words.

And so I have resigned myself to this; I will just learn to enjoy the moments they share with me and not anticipate any 'sisterly' or 'brotherly' time (haven't seen or heard from him to speak of in MONTHS), any 'sit back and laugh' visits, or 'are you ok?' visits. or 'let's get together just 'cause I miss you' visits and certainly no crafty, scrappy or ancestry time...

I will just have to be okay and say that it is all a thing of the past...

And I will pretend I live in a far away place like Louisiana or Singapore..

I will let friends and my hubby carry me on as they always have

Because I guess that is the way it is supposed to be

But I am deeply disappointed to say the least.

I have always had time, or made time, for my family.

I have always cherished them 

And I love being with them 

Laughing and cutting up with them

And now that I live near them 

I can only miss them.

Go Fish! And Crafts...

That is what Aedan and I have been doing... since I cannot drive anywhere (broken foot), I entertain him here until Steve gets off.  We have played games and crafted.  

Aedan can play a mean game of Go Fish - he has won 5 of 6 games we have played!

I have also had to break down and play Wii... that is a big step for me!  Lol... and it is an even bigger challenge for me to keep up with what I am supposed to do.  Aedan keeps telling me, but I have no clue what he is telling me to do!  Granny has to get better at this Wii thing.  I am WAY behind!

And he has found my craft room.  He has made presents for everyone he loves!  He stays in there the better part of the day.  He LOVES art!

Aedan also loves reading.  He is reading at a grade 5 level he says and I believe it!  He reads great!  Aedan is just going into 2nd grade!  He scoots into bed every night and pulls out one of his three books.  He made a bookmark in the craft room to keep his place.  

And that is about all we have done in the last 2 days, but he is still having fun.  He rides the 4 wheeler every evening and helps papa on the farm.

Still enjoying our guy.

We went to the Oklahoma Aquarium on Friday with Aedan.  He got a blast watching all the fish and critters.  My favorite are the jellyfish - they are so relaxing to watch!

 

Jeremy, I wish I had gotten a profile picture of him here... 

Aedan on the other hand liked watching more interesting faces:

 

And trying to 'catch' frogs:

 

That is a man after granny's own heart, I tell ya!  (I collect frogs - what for I don't know, but I love them!)

And he stood for 30 minutes watching the stingrays:

 

I love this picture of Aedan looking at the stingrays, but look at the little guy in the background!

 

Lol, he was actually falling and his parents didn't hear him yell. I think he was a bit annoyed with them!

We went in the giftshop afterwards and Aedan really wanted to buy this shirt for his brother - he is always thinking of Marcus - it is so sweet!  However, the prices were not in his favor so we just took this picture!

The heat and lack of rain have kicked our backsides this year - well, this is the second year of no rain.  We have wildfires all over the state - this is the smoke from one about 30 miles away:

Yes, very ominous and heavy.  

Steve has been trying to get a trench dug to get electric to our pond so we can keep it healthy with an aerator:

The temp when he was doing this was 112 degrees F!!  It is so blasted HOT!  Aedan went out to help him for a very short time:

That lasted all of about 4 minutes - he came screaming in that it is HOT OUT THERE GRANNY!

Poor papa!

Doesn't he look great all dressed up and ready to help his papa though?

We are having a great time with our little guy.  He is so sweet, caring and soft hearted; so much like his daddy it is unreal.  Love that we have him to get to know him better.

I cannot drive anywhere because of the cast on my right foot, but we are trying to find plenty to keep him busy right here at the house.  Being on a farm is tough; he only has (real) tractors, 4 wheelers and a horse or two to ride.  He only has trailers, forts and fences to climb, but, oh what fun he is having 'hanging out' on the farm!

Granny needs to be able to drive though - oh the things we could do!

Ollie's Station Restaurant in Tulsa

A friend, Sharon (hi Sharon!) said we needed to take Aedan to the train restaurant named Ollie's Station.  We did.  Oh my goodness, what a cool place to take a kid!

When we walked in, we saw many tracks overhead for trains to run on. 

 Lots of tracks!

Everywhere you look are tracks!

Oh Aedan loved the tracks!

It wasn't long before he found the train running on a track!

He had a difficult time concentrating on what to get for lunch because the trains kept his attention:

He finally settled on a burger, but he was quick to tell us he was a very happy kid:

And for the record?   He said it was the "most AWWWESOMME burger EVER!"  In fact, he said, "It tasted like a REAL HAMBURGER granny!"  

The restaurant looks like this, kinda like a normal little 'mom and pop' place - but the parking lot was jam packed full!

Aedan had a great time watching the trains.  He asked them to run another one, and they rang a bell and changed which train was running and had another on a different track start up.  He was super excited!

Going to Ollie's was a great experience for us all.  The burgers were great; you know, like REAL BURGERS are supposed to taste - and it sure is fun to soak in the atmosphere and enjoy the train nostalgia that is displayed.  Head on out to Ollie's Station,  have a meal and sit back and watch the old times go by!  Don't expect the kids to eat fast though - 'cause they are gonna love the trains!

Aedan's First Day at Granny and Papa's

I went to California and picked up Aedan yesterday!  I returned to Oklahoma with Aedan yesterday!  Aedan and I had an easy trip - we visited and colored the entire way.  However, at one point as we were coming into Denver, our plane got struck by lightning!  It didn't hurt, and it didn't scare us - we were just like WHOA!!  There was a huge POP! when the plane was struck and Aedan looked to me for guidance.  I immediately took the papa action, "BOOM!  THUNDER!" and laughed - reassured, he said, "That was LOUD!"  and laughed as well!  We were all okay then.  Here he is just before he hopped on the first plane. 

Hasn't he grown??  LOVE that his dad gave him a cool hairdo - he always gave himself one too!   Yes, he had ketchup for lunch - and what boy doesn't get it all over themselves?  Aedan is no exception!   He wears it proudly!

When we left Denver, the pilot forewarned us that we would be going through 20 minutes of thunderstorms on the way up and to "hang on!"  Mr Aedan takes everything quite literally - he hung on!  And the look on his face is not 'scared' - it is 'don't interrupt me, I am watching my show!'

And now he is playing with his Aunt Stephenie and daddy's toys:

Granny knew she kept them around for a reason!  

Reminds me of some other little guys that played with the same toys, only they found a different way to play with them:

Aedan tried to play outside, but it is already too hot.  He came in with sweat beads, grabbed a pair of scissors and went to work making snowflakes - which, by the way, I thought was a terrific idea!  Here he is paused after he accidentally cut his finger (a teeny tiny cut)...

but he finished up and... 

We have SNOWFLAKES!

But our weather station says something different is happening outside that window at 1pm:

Last night on the way home from the airport, the pilot came across the loud speaker to tell us the updated Tulsa weather conditions.  He informed us the weather at 10:40 pm had cooled off to a mere 103 degrees.  Yes, at 10:40pm.  And that is all I have to say about that... 

I have roasted and canned more tomatoes and peppers - this is the last day's pickens:

The sad thing is, if we don't get rain soon our garden will be all dried up and I won't have to worry about canning or freezing anymore.  The only grassy stuff green around is the drain field for our septic system... 

That rain cloud did us absolutely no good - we did not get a drop, but south of us did!  If you look very closely, you can see everything around the drain fields is very crispy brown.  The poor horses are struggling with the lack of green and fresh.  I have put my order in for cool and rain, but I think I need to ask you to send cool and rain!  The delivery service has not yet delivered.  Can you do any better?

Off to play with the grandson - LOVE having this little guy all to myself.  He is amazing!

Hmmm, what a coincidence - ALL of our grandkids are amazing!