He tried to protect us from the time we were little, but he was being hurt just as much as we were - in other ways. He would step in and take care of us when the 'stuff' got deep. When I had icky boyfriends he did 'behind the scenes' check ins and they dumped me like hotcakes. When Steve came around, apparently he liked Steve because he backed off and let Steve take care of me. Soon after I found Steve, John Dee moved and settled in his own life. We have kept somewhat in contact, but seldom see each other. It is like we never lost touch when we talk. Last week, when I decided to drive and see him, I called him.
This is how the conversation went: He answered the phone "What?"
I said "I am coming to see you!"
He said, "Why?"
"Because I love you!"
"Next weekend! On Friday!"
"Is that ok?"
"Yep! But Bunny won't be here."
"Tell her to leave pictures, I am coming to see you!"
"Staying at the Holiday Inn in Commerce"
*where did we ALL get this way of saying goodbye??*
Told you he was never much of a conversationalist! lol... this is SO HIM! But I could hear excitement in his voice :-)
He is always in pain. He had Rheumatic Fever when we were kids and our moms did not bother giving him antibiotics. The Drs gave it to them, but between his and mine, they would quit the process of giving it to him. Over and over this happened: Someone took him in because he was so ill, Drs gave antibiotics, he got them for a few days, then didn't. For 4 years he had it and it did his heart in. Now his heart is bad, Rheumatoid Arthritis set in when we were kids because of the RF, then a few years back he had a horrible wreck that broke his neck - among other things, and now he cannot get around well at all. I can't wait to see and hug him - gently of course :-)
I feel forgotten. When I first came up here, I got calls and mail from friends and family. Now I don't get calls OR mail, lol. I know everyone has their own lives, but I sure miss everyone. It is time to go home. Steve is subdued. He is working long hours again, and exhausted when he comes in. I know he is concerned about his future and what will happen. Not about loosing his job, just where we go from here. At this point it is all me now. I was going to go home this week, but Liz recently scheduled a crop I would really like to go to next Saturday - knowing I needed to be home by the 11th. *sigh* Been up here an year...
I wake up with a stuffy nose and headache every morning. I wonder what all creepy crawlies are in this room? I hate staying in motels anyway, but I keep thinking about all the crap I have seen at this one since I moved here. It is not pretty. Weird stuff goes on in these rooms. I would never be a housekeeper for one. Really icky stuff people!
What memory? I feel like I am loosing my mind. I have zero short term memory at all. I can be driving and 'wake up' and not have a clue where I am. Thankfully this has happened only a few times, but it is eerie and scary.
I have to think for days about where something I misplaced could be. Steve tries to help me retrace my steps and work through it - he has seen what has happened. But others just don't understand. I was a butt yesterday because I could not find some important pics I needed to take to John Dee. Liz just didn't get that I needed help remembering, kept reassuring me they were not there and she ended up being the brunt of my frustration. I am sorry :-(
It is so terrifying that I just 'don't have a clue' sometimes. The Neurologist said my brain went into severe overload and I might have had a mental breakdown (there, I finally said it) and it might be years - if ever - before it recovers. Thankfully, a CAT scan reassured us I don't have Alzheimer's. That was a real concern for me.
Ok, off to pack for a great weekend! Wish us safe travels and happy memories!